u/Jolly_Efficiency_158

I just deal with so much anxiety from it. Now that im 18 and I’ve obviously said and done dumb shit, it’s worse, but remembering all the stuff I did when I was younger just makes me feel like im never going to be comfortable living ever again, like im always going to be waiting for the other foot to drop or something. I wish i could redo my life. I spend so much time visualizing all the bad things that could come of my life if my mistakes were known by everyone. I feel so empty besides the guilt and fear.

basically the title. I’ve been in a really bad mental health spot and trying to reconnect with nature rather than be online all the time, but when I get cold I just get severely uncomfortable/in pain due to my issues; like 40-50 degrees with wind can be uncomfortable for me, but I really feel best when im sitting in the sun. anyone else deal w this? Or have good alternatives?

i have a pretty big list of issues that im searching professional help for but one of my biggest concerns is a collection of things and behaviors i acted on while drinking a lot, but als the way my mind has worked for so long. I don’t know if any of it could be considered psychosis or what but basically, for the past several months i just have kind of gone downhill and have done tons of shit that i never in a million years thought id do + id never do again now that ive realized the weight of everything. Im just curious on if psychosis can make you do certain things and you can feel guilty for them while actively in the episode. i only say that i think i may have been in a long drawn out episode because i ultimately conspired about people who cared about me, did some pretty awful shit to some of them, and now that I’ve been cut off from my friend group , i think im kind of just back in reality after i had a huge mental breakdown to my family. ever since, i just kind of don’t feel real and i feel like i just tapped back into myself after being a backseat driver to my own decisions for months.

tldr: what’s it like having psychosis, asking as someone who may have experienced it.