Should parents attend their children's molester's funeral?
Over 20 years ago, my swim coach molested me when I was 13 and he was 36, on a family vacation. He was a close family "friend" and "pillar of the community."
I told my mom several days later when we got home cuz I didn't wanna make trouble on the vacation.
She didn't call the police, and did tell my step dad, but he now says she never told him. I saw and heard him tell her, but whatever. My mom continued sending my brother to practices with the swim coach, and surfing day trips.
But, the loser got prostate cancer 🎉 and ended up dying a year later. My step dad, who was a physician at the time, sat by his side while he lay dying and suffering, in my step dad's words.
The whole family attended his funeral, but I was allowed to stay home. I was in disbelief and so hurt that they even went.
My mom came home with red, tear stained cheeks. I remember clear as day asking her, "Why are you crying?"
"It's sad," she replied.
Never to get an apology from anyone, I still deeply struggle with this lack of unity and support I received during this time from my family.
Any time I express challenge with that to them now, they get mad at me and make excuses.
My mom said "you dont understand," as her explanation as to why she went to the funeral.
Yesterday, my now ex-step dad reached out to me about a very short, vague Facebook post I made stating I am struggling with stuff from my childhood. He continued to say he never knew what Coach xx did to me, but even if he did, he wouldve still gone to his funeral because he's a doctor and that makes it different.
So God forbid, my children ever were molested by anyone as young teens, I wouldnt attend that molesters funeral.
But question, what would you do, if God forbid, you were in the situation of my parents? Would you attend? Thanks.