u/Jazzlike_Sport_506

So after gettin a lot of advice (and yeah a lot of criticism too) on my last post, I wanted to give a little update.

Tbh, a lot of what people said really got to me. It made me question myself hard like, am I really the kind of man my wife once loved? I didn’t sleep at all that night because my mind kept running.

The next day I ended up sharing everything with my little sister (17F). For some context, when all of this happened, my sister wasn’t home, and thinking about it now, my mom has never openly disrespected my wife in front of my sister. After I told her what happened, my sister was furious.

One more thing, my mom loves my sister a lot, but my sister doesn’t really feel the same way. There’s always been tension there for reasons I honestly don’t fully understand. After hearin what happened, my sister directly confronted my mom

And honestly… my mom didn’t say anything back. She just stood there frozen angry, shocked, but silent.

My sister told her straight up that what she did to my wife was wrong. She said that if my mom really wanted to teach my wife things or correct her, she should do it politely and respectfully and that acting like a gawaar (her actual word) and humiliating someone was never okay.

Then she said something that shocked me even more she made my mom apologize to my wife.

I was expecting my wife to look happier or something, but she actually looked sad through all of this, and strangely enough, my wife and my sister have become much closer since then. They actually seem like good friends now tbh I really don’t know if my sister actually feels bad for my wife or if she was just frustrated and did all of this because of that. even though before this they were never really close despite living under the same roof.

But I’ll be honest, I’m struggling with how all of this happened.

At some points I feel like my sister went too far. She used harsh words for my mom and called her "Gawaar" or "hankari" and to me that felt unacceptable. And making my mom a woman in her 50s apologize to someone in their 20s feels disrespectful to me. That’s just how I was raised, and maybe that’s my personal bias, but I can’t shake that feeling.

Since that day, I haven’t really talked much to my sister or even my wife because I feel conflicted about everything.

My wife has even said she’s willing to apologize to my mom for how things turned out, which makes me feel even worse.

On top of that, my mom hasn’t been doing well emotionally since this happened, and I feel bad for her too.

I also talked to my cousin, and he agrees with me. He told me, “What kind of man lets his sister and wife disrespect the mother who gave him birth and raised him?” And honestly… part of me agrees with that.

Now I just feel confused, guilty, and sad about everything.

My sister seems happier. thinks she did the right thing. My mom is hurt. And I’m stuck in the middle feeling torn apart

Aight so I (27M) recently got married to my wife (24F), and honestly, I feel like marrying me was the worst decision of her life.

Before marrying me, my wife lived a luxury life. She comes from a wealthy family, and of course, they were against this marriage. Still, she went against her parents just to marry me. Her family, especially her mom, pretty much stopped talking to her you can say they basically disowned her.

And honestly, I don’t fully blame em, because my family’s reputation isn’t good here. Everyone knows about it. Back in the late 2000s in Canada, my dad, uncles, and even my grandma got arrested on possession of illegal drugs and guns charges. To be honest, I’m ashamed of it. Meanwhile my wife comes from a wealthy and respected family.

Anyway, a few days ago we went to a wedding. My wife was talking to some guys she knew. I didn’t know them, and honestly, I didn’t care because later my wife told me they were her cousins’ friends and that they’ve all known each other since childhood. I trust her, so it wasn’t an issue for me.

But my mom saw her talking to em, and you could tell it pissed her off.

While we were returning home, my mom started insulting my wife in front of our aunty (Bhau), calling her different names, even saying stuff like, “My son ruined his life marrying you.” My wife didn’t say a word, but when I looked at her face, I noticed her eyes were filled with tears and she was about to cry.

Guys, I really wanted to call my mom out for that, but something inside me stopped me. You can say I got scared. I just couldn’t speak up or be disrespectful to my mom.

After coming home, my wife didn’t even say a word to me. She just went straight to bed.

Then yesterday, my mom told my wife to make tea for some relatives. And guys, I can’t lie my wife doesn’t really know how to make tea, but she still didn’t complain and tried.

When she brought the cups out, my mom literally spat the tea out of her mouth and started her bullshit again. To be honest, this time I really wanted to stand up for my wife, but again, something stopped me.

Then one of my relatives made it worse by saying how their daughters-in-law do this and that, and that my wife doesn’t even know how to make a cup of tea.

Again, my wife just stood there without saying a word.

After she came back to our room, she completely broke down crying. She kept saying, “I ruined my life,” and cried for hours.

Honestly, guys, I feel terrible for her. She gave up everything for me, and now she’s dealing with all this bullshit.

Be honest how do I fix this? How do I stop my mom from being so mean to her?

I’m 27M, my wife is 24F, and we recently got married. Honestly, I’ve been carrying this heavy feeling that marrying me might’ve been the worst decision she ever made.

My wife comes from a wealthy, respected family. She grew up living a comfortable life, had everything going for her, and her family has a good name. Mine is the complete opposite.

Back in the late 2000s in Canada, my dad, uncles, and even my grandma got arrested on drug and gun charges. My family’s reputation has been bad ever since. It’s something I’m deeply ashamed of, even though I was just a kid when all that happened.

My wife’s family strongly opposed our marriage because of my family background. She still chose me anyway. Because of that, her family especially her mom n dad basically cut her off. She gave up a lot to be with me, and lately I can’t stop thinking that all she got in return is pain.

A few days ago, we went to a wedding. My wife was talking to a few guys she knew. I didn’t care because later she told me they were her cousins’ friends and people she’s known since childhood. I trust her, so it wasn’t an issue for me.

But my mom saw it, and it made her angry.

On the way home, in front of my aunt, my mom started insulting my wife calling her horrible names, saying things like, “My son ruined his life marrying you.” My wife stayed quiet the whole time, but I looked at her face and saw tears in her eyes.

I wanted to say something. I really did.

But I froze.

Idk why. Fear? Guilt? The way I was raised? Something in me just stopped me from standing up to my mom, and I hate myself for that.

Then yesterday, relatives came over. My mom told my wife to make tea for everyone. My wife doesn’t even know how to make tea properly, but she still tried without complaining.

When she brought it out, my mom literally spat it out dramatically and started insulting her again in front of everyone. Then one of my relatives joined in, comparing her to other daughters-in-law and mocking her.

Again, my wife stood there quietly and took it.

Later, she came into our room, broke down crying, and said, “I ruined my life.” She cried for hours.

And honestly… hearing that broke me, because deep down I feel like she’s right.

She gave up her family, her lifestyle, and everything familiar for me and I can’t even protect her from disrespect in my own home.

I love my wife. I hate seeing her treated like this. I hate myself for staying silent. But every time I try to confront my mom, something stops me.

How do I fix this before I completely lose my wife?