u/Jazzlike_Giraffe_142

I am facing losing my relationship with my parents and having a place to stay. I can't drive due to other health issues so I'd be totally isolated. Idk how I'm gonna survive but I can't do this anymore. If I say what I really feel like doing, I'd be placed in a psych hospital. I've let all my friends and family down. I just feel lost. It's like I'm physically unable to stop. I don't have withdrawals or anything but the mental obsession just won't stop. If I'm honest to my parents about it, they'll kick me to the curb. I'm just so alone right now, I don't know what to do.

I've tried AA for three years and keep relapsing and going to rehab. The longest true sobriety I had was nine months which I just broke earlier this week. I'm planning on using regularly once I move out for college. I don't want to get sober but I need to. I know what will happen if I start using again, I'll lose my jobs, have to drop out of school, etc... I just want to want to be sober. What programs might help? AA just tells me to go back out until I get miserable enough to want it but I don't know how I could get more miserable. What programs might help me without making me homeless and possibly die first?