How to change your mindset on enjoying time with your young kids
I am really starting to hate myself for how I feel around my 3.5yo and 1yo. I work full time, so I see them like 3-4 hours a day during the weekday. I miss them when they’re not around but the minute I pick them up from daycare I cannot WAIT until bedtime. I have to force myself to play, to not dismiss my 3.5yo asking for me to do x,y,z with him.
My current job is not really stressful so it’s not like I’m burnt out after the workday. But the minute the kids are home I feel this weird, completely unearned overstimulation and fatigue. I think it’s mostly due to my 1yo needing to be watched like a hawk combined with 3yo still being prone to tantrums if he doesn’t get his way or understand that he can’t sit on my lap while the 1yo is free range in the playroom. When I have just one of them with me, I feel much less bothered and like I can have some fun with them.
I used to hate making dinner or doing dishes but now I try to do those tasks so my husband has to be the one on kid duty. I hate it. I hate feeling like this. They’re both wonderful kids. Sweet, unique, absolutely awesome kids. I hate feeling depressed when I have to be in mom mode, especially in these short-lived years of infancy/toddlerhood. I hate feeling SO relieved when the weekends are over.
I try to read books on the subject, try to change my mindset, try to meditate, but I haven’t found anything that works. Anyone else feel this way or had a way to get out of it?