Story -
It was around the time when the sun was about to set. The air was cold, the birds were migrating, and the moon was at half phase. But the city was full of sounds: the horn, people shouting, laughing, trucks moving, and a train passing. It was like nature was trying to rest, but the people were in a frenzy.
At this time Tarun, a teenager, around 19, was sitting on his balcony, observing the city. He always thought that the city was running continuously, without a break, making him feel like he was left behind. To overcome this feeling, he naturally opened his phone to check what his friends were up to.
When he checked his social media, he was stunned. He saw that his friends were posting stuff that he didn't even know, were doing and achieving something, while he was just trying to figure out his life. This made him feel even more left behind. Tarun was an engineering student. He went to college, studied, and came back home—that's all.
He thought to himself "what is wrong with me?". All of his friends and peers were trying one thing or the other , achieving something, gaining more views, more money , popularity. And here he was, just doomscrolling all day. He tossed his phone aside and saw the moon. That's when he thought, "Why am I doing this? What's the point? Do I even enjoy what I am doing?"
These types of questions made him feel like an imposter. He felt like someone who was always different from others, a person who was posing to be someone which he wasn't. He couldn't connect with his own classmates, nor with his own family . They were enjoying their life, going on trips, hosting huge parties, some of them even started earning at this age. Whereas he was just living like a zombie, with no real purpose and clear direction. He thought that life was just passing like a fast train and he couldn't catch up to it.
This made him question his own life, to the point where he considered running away from everything and hiding somewhere in a remote area. He wanted his entire life to be erased, to be forgotten or to restarted from the very begining. He wanted to be a completely different person than he was.
He became extremely sad, and a burst of sorrow filled his heart. He couldn't think of anything, any answer , not even of his own self .
"Who am I? What am I supposed to do? Why am I like this?". These thoughts completely clouded his mind.
At this time, he became a person with no identity. His idea of his own personality was so blurred that he didn't know if he was even real.
He was desperately trying to search for some meaning, some reason for the emptiness. That’s when he noticed a moth on the balcony. It was battering itself against the glaring light, blindly chasing a glow that was only burning it out.
Tarun stared at it, the realization hitting him like a nuke. He finally faced the deep and ugly truth which he had been avoiding at all costs. He wasn't mad at his friends for achieving things. He wasn't mad at the city for moving too fast.
He realised that, he was the moth, throwing himself into a life he didn't even want. A deep sense of disguste crawled in his chest.
And in that quiet and dark moment, he realized that the person he truly hated the most was Himself.