I (24F) broke up with my college sweetheart over a year ago. We didn’t talk for months, and I dated other people casually after that. At one point, I genuinely thought I had moved on since I almost forgot about him.
A few months ago, I started dating a new guy I met on Bumble. We’ve been together for over three months now. He’s kind, consistent, and affectionate. On paper, he is everything people would call a green flag. We have great chemistry and spend every weekend together.
But I just don’t feel emotionally connected to him.
I don’t feel excited to text or call him, and when I try to open up, I don’t feel truly heard or understood. Compared to how my friends and especially my ex listened to me, something feels off.
Another issue is that he tends to make a lot of things sexual. I’ve communicated my boundaries, but it still happens. Since we only meet once a week, most of our time ends up revolving around that, and I feel like we’re not building a deeper, more genuine bond.
What’s confusing me more is that being in this relationship is making me miss my ex again.
I feel like this relationship is sort of opening old books of my ex. Whenever now I talk occasionally with my ex, I feel understood and comfortable in a way I don’t feel now. He even asked to get back together a while ago, but I said no at the time.
Now I feel like I might actually be more compatible with my ex than my current boyfriend.
I don’t know if I’m being unfair, emotionally unavailable, or if this relationship just isn’t right for me.
What should I do?
**TL;DR;** :
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TL;DR:
In a healthy, “green flag” relationship but feel no emotional connection and struggle to develop genuine feelings. Partner often makes things sexual despite boundaries, which makes it harder to build a deeper bond. At the same time, I’ve started missing my ex again because I felt more understood and emotionally connected with him. Now I’m confused about whether I’m the problem or if I’m with the wrong person.