Trigger Warning - Grooming / Sex with a minor
I(f) recently decided to report someone I had a sexual relationship with from ages 13-16, he was 20-23. I'm now 30 and almost twice the weight as he knew me.
I have a Video Recorded Interview coming up and all I can think is that if they use it in court he will see how much bigger I've become. I'm worried he won't recognise me. I'm worried he won't find me attractive anymore. Which is insane! Im reporting him because he ruined my life and I still want him to love me, to come back to me.
My brains on 2 sides, young me that loves him so much and adult me that knows it's sooo wrong. But young mes been winning. I've not been eating and was even sick a couple times this week. I don't know how to listen to logic, to listen to the adult.
I've mentioned it to my therapist and I will be speaking to her about it more in depth but she can't make me eat.
I just wondered if anyone had any advice on how to eat, I need to be fueled for the stress, I need my brain to work.