AITAH for not telling 90% of my family that I bought a house?
I'll try to keep this brief, so I 34M, am a recovering people pleaser and going on 6 months since I bought my first home, feel very accomplished about that.
Since as long as I can remember, I've always unfortunately been the type of person that gives into things, and people, even when I tell myself "never again." Those people usually end up being family. My family's always been the type to use guilt to get me to do something. Sentences always sprinkled in sayings like "I guess you don't love me", "I guess you don't care." I had the option of graduating high a year early and talked it over with my family. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, whether I wanted to go to college, the military, etc and leaving high school early probably wouldn't turn on any lightbulbs for me so I was on the fence about doing it.
My grandmother and aunts came over and discussed it and the first thing out of her mouth was "your grandmother would be so proud." My maternal grandmother had passed 2 years prior. I felt guilty so I did it, and as expected, no grand plane suddenly revealed itself to me and I spend money I didn't have on classes in college for a degree I had no interest in.
Im an introvert my nature so I rarely interact with anyone, let alone family unless necessary. I could honestly write a book on how over the years I've been guilted into giving money, time, energy, how whenever I get so much as a text from a relative, I immediately get a sinking pit feeling in my stomach, but the real crux of the matter is my father.
He's been in jail since I was 16 and I was only 6 years old when they divorced so I didn't know what he really got up to until years later but suffice to say, my dad was a serial cheating man whore on the bad touch registry. It was the latter that he was sent to prison for, though he didnt do it, that time. Though if you ask my mom, she always says he's in there for everything he did get away with. I distinctly remember when my and my brother were young, us being taken to what I now realize was a police station and us being asked questions about him and whether we were ever touch inappropriately, we weren't, because of what happened regarding one of my sisters and him that got him put on that bad touch registry. To this day I havent asked him, my mom, nor anyone who might know because there's just some things I wouldn't be able to come back from and look him the same way again.
Anyway Im getting off track, he's due to get out of prison sooner rather than later and since even before I bought my house, its been a genuine fear that I'd open the door one way and he'd be standing there, looking for a place to live. That, even with my largely removing myself from most of my family aside from the occasional text or call, that I've been so conditioned to please family that I'll say yes. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't fear him or anything. Compared to him and my mom I'll Always need my mom, but him, I can take or leave. It's just more the fact that even in my mid 30s I still have a hard time saying no, especially to family. I always told myself that if the day came that I ever managed to own my own home, that I'd never tell Anyone aside from my mom and a few others where I live. At least that way I could ensure I'd never had to worry about a relative stopping by randomly because they were "just in the neighborhood."
TLDR: AITAH for not telling the majority of my family that I, a recovering people pleaser, bought a house because Im afraid it'll get back to my father whose soon to get out of prison and I don't want him showing up and asking living with me?