u/Javiersalguero1

Me and my girlfriend recently got back together after a year of no contact. We were catching up on each other’s lives when she mentioned that she has a trip to another country planned in a few months.

I asked some follow up questions because I was genuinely interested and wanted to keep the conversation going. She told me she was going alone, explained her plans, and said everything was already arranged. Told her it sounded really cool and wished her a great trip.

Then she asked if I wanted to go with her. I asked if she seriously wanted me to come, and she said yes so I told her it wasn’t something I had planned for financially, but I’d check my number and there was a good chance I could make it work.

The next day, I looked into ticket prices and ran the numbers. It seemed doable, so I asked her again if she was sure she wanted me to go. That’s when she told me it was a trip she planned while she was single, she already had everything organized, she wasn’t willing to change any of those plans for me, and that she would probably be going with a family member as well.

I told her I didn’t want to just squeeze myself into plans that clearly weren’t meant to include me. I said I had assumed the invitation meant she wanted it to be something we shared together, where I’d actually be part of the planning and experience and since that doesn't seem to be the case I’d rather step out of the trip entirely.

I also told her I felt sad and disappointed not because she was taking the trip, but because I thought I was being genuinely included when apparently that wasn’t the case.

Now she’s mad at me. She says I’m criticizing a trip she planned while she was single. From my perspective I’m the one who deserves an apology because I never wanted to force myself into her trip in the first place, I only considered going because she invited me.

AITA?