my girlfriend (20F) is trying to keep the relationship lowkey, i (21M) feel like she want to keep her options open
I (21M) have been dating my girlfriend (20F) for a while now, and things are generally good between us. We spend time together, we’re affectionate, and I do feel like she cares about me. She even took my V-card, but one thing that’s been bothering me is that she prefers to keep our relationship very lowkey while i've been keeping it HIGHkey.
She doesn’t really post about us, doesn’t like making it obvious publicly that we’re together. I brought it up lightly before, she said she just don't want her friends to keep telling her to find a new man. For context, one of her close friends constantly tells her things like she should find a new man or find a richer man knowing damn well im just a student. Hearing that kind of influence around her makes me question things more, especially combined with how lowkey she keeps us.
Its gets to a point where a part of me feels like she’s trying to keep her options open or not fully committing. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but it’s been sitting in my head and affecting how secure I feel in the relationship.
I’m not someone who needs constant posting or public validation, but I do want to feel like I’m not being hidden. At the same time, I don’t want to pressure her into something she’s uncomfortable with.
How can I properly communicate how I feel about this without coming off as insecure or controlling, and how do I figure out whether this is genuinely her not wanting her friends to talk shit about our relationship or something deeper?