u/Javelin286

Pretty straightforward but for references. My wife and I met on tinder in 2017 and got married in 2020 and have 2 kids. She had dated a guy for a long time in high school but they broke up before prom their senior year. I’ve asked about him in the past and she has been kinda vague about him and only really ever said mean things about him and that’s about all I get about it. Some of her friends had made jokes about her and him on occasion with and without me present and it makes her extremely angry that’s she yells about her friends when she gets home. I think it’s fairly obvious she hates him but I’ve always wanted to know why because I want to always be better than him and her to know that I want her to be happy. Now onto the my suspicions about him SAing her, their on some occasions where we are being intimate and she suddenly gets nervous and almost scared and I stop and ask her if everything is ok and she comes back around and says yes. I will ask her if she wants to continue and she’ll always say yes but she’ll only half be there and I feel like an asshole, most of the time I just say it’s ok we don’t have to and we can just cuddle. I fear that based on all the things together means that she was SAd by him because she hates him, she hates when people bring him up, she won’t talk about him and the way she occasionally reacts during intimacy. Am I over thinking it or is it a valid concern? Is there a way I can get her to open up so we can get her help for the possible trauma?