so last night, i was talking with my dad then sudden, naisipan kong itanong yung ninong ninungan ko noong bata palang ako, 3 years old to be exact (dad told me since sabi nya di pa ako nagaaral noong time na yun noong nakakasama ko sya) na kung nasaan na sya cause i had this memory with him na palagi kong naaalala. i remember, kaming dalawa lang sa kwarto ng lola ko, palagi kasi akong nasa kanya since we were close then i remember getting naked in front of him then went on top of him, he was also shirtless. as a kid, i didn't even know what i was doing but fortunately, my lola went inside to get something and caught us, she told me na magdamit ako. and yk what's funny when i told my dad about this? he said that i should repent for it, for that sin even though di ko daw alam ginagawa ko. i was like, so it was my fault? then he said, di naman daw sa ganun. he said na pagsisihan ko daw since kasalanan daw yung nagawa ko kahit di ko pa alam yung ginagawa ko. i was about to cry while he was still talking but i told myself na it's okay, wag nalang ulit magopen. which i was expecting na icomfort nya ako, make me feel na it wasn't my fault since i was a kid. and yeah, my dad's a christian so 😀
was basically sa'd and groomed from 3 to 16. the reason why di ako nagoopen sa kanya dahil nga sa mga utak ng mga christian (i know, hindi lahat) lalaki nga pala ako, kaya natatakot rin akong magsalita and dad proved me right.