I went down a findom spiral and want to talk about it.
I hope this fits the forum standards.
I've never been into findom before. My fetish interests were always adjacent to findom. Mostly femdom related stuff, pegging, cuckolding, toilet play, etc. But I recently had an in-person with a woman who practices findom. I sort of fell for her and after her session I started buying her vids, messaging her online, sending her tips. Then, I found other women like her and I started doing the same with them. I had never been to these fans websites before, and HOLY CRAP! Before I knew it I was truly spiraling, spending way more money than I was comfortable with and unsure how this all happened. It took over my life for a few days.
Anyway, I'm confused by this fetish. Are people into findom itself or are they into other fetishes and just got drawn into findom because the women are demanding money? I get that there is something thrilling about being told what to do, pretty girls being mean, and losing control. But I feel like there has to be something else that draws you in at first. Some of the women on these live cams aren't even doing anything, they are just ordering you to give them money. I get it when they are asking you to buy them videos, but when they are just asking you to send them money to pay for their coffee, dinner, etc. What's the point?
I guess I just feel like this fetish is predatory When you are watching porn already and you have the dopamine rush going, it's very easy to get convinced to hand over money. It's the same problem with online gambling or live-service video games. But what really upsets me is that all professional providers seem to be doing it these days. I personally want to be able to pay sexworkers/porn stars for their work but not got drawn into findom.
Anyone else feel the same as me? Or perhaps someone can defend findom and tell me why I'm wrong?