Nervous to play in public
TL;DR I've been playing for casual fun for decades, have access to good/decent equipment, I really suck, and anxiety/imposter syndrome is preventing my from playing in public.
My city is spoiled for tables. From the fantastic sandwhich shop with a crappy coin-op, several bowling alleys and random bars, to the smokey dive with 20 ok tables and warped cues (which I used to play at weekly), the hall that doubles as a pawn shop for cues, and, enticingly a spot outfitted with several 8 and 9 foot diamonds, supposedly decent house cues, and serving craft beer only a short drive away. I'd really like to go to that last one, the ***"nice place."***
I've been playing pool, for fun, since I was 5 years old (almost 35 years now). Did I mention my Dad has a beautiful Andrew Gille's 8 (9?) foot with elephant legs?
And I suck. I spent highschool playing with friends, who also sucked, and my thirties with a girlfriend who had zero idea how to aim. Only once played a stranger (in another crappy table in a dive). I can barely make basic shots. Banks, kicks, and caroms were always "this will be fun to try and see what happens.". Basic cuts and full length table shots are 50/50.
Most of my life has just been knocking balls around and occasionally making some easy shots.
I've always wanted to take it seriously and truly learn. The last few months I've been trying. I also am using it as a way to connect with my Dad (and am still unlearning all the psychotic bar rules he taught me). Though the last ten years he hasn't played and his low quality cues were missing tips.
To that effect I bought 4 cues at the pawn shop (the ultra expert cue collector gave me their league discount since I spent hours asking questions and trying different ones). A two Viking's (hard rock Maple and not Chinese), a Jacoby (I actually like the Vikings better), and a random break/jump (one Viking is mine, the others I got for him). I also got him a set of Amarith Premium balls. (I figured it'd be nice to have a baseline of decent equipment, that it'd be more consistent, enabling learning and fun... the balls don't randomly curve around when moving slowly!). I also got a magic rack but am unsure if we like it.
I'm agoraphobic, social anxious, avoidant, and barely leave the house. I've been practicing on my Dad's table a few times a week and occasionally playing with him (which is fun! and even more than a decade with no one to play with and no regular practice he destroys me every time).
So that's my situation. I want to get good. I want to have fun playing with people that play decently well.
I'm terrified and embarrassed to go to the ***"nice place"***, and even more so to bring my cue out into public. Why the hell does a terrible recreational plalayer own decent 2-piece cues? Why can't he make basic shots? Are randomly people going to watch me, judge me, critique me, laugh at me, challenge me to games? If I'm this bad and playing against myself am I wasting table space?
I have no one else to play with, maybe I could take my Dad to a bar, but he's old and tired and just as socially awkward as me. He joked I shouldn't take my cue out.
I figure I should at least go without my cue, during non-busy hours, and shoot 1 rack, and see what happens. But what kind of amateur goes to the nicest spot and shoots one rack?
Intellectually I know all kinds play everywhere and not to worry, but it'd help to understand what it's actually like "out there", hear stories of other newbies who went to the nicest place in town, people who bought a cue "too early that they didn't need."
Is it possible I could play in some kind of league somewhere and not be constantly destroyed and embarrassed and laughed at?
p.s. My cue has Irish linen and a frog! That's justification enough for my sweaty reptile loving butt to own it right?
p.p.s I'm looking at buying a house and wanting space for an okay slate table. I've convinced myself I need an 8 foot, but a 7 foot would be much easier to fit, and a 6 foot is useless (but could fit in any house I'm looking at). But I see so many people saying a 6ft is useless and with a 7ft you might as well play in public on 8ft. Please tell me a 7ft is ok for someone like me. Will it teach me bad habits? It would just be fun to have a table, but I don't want a table that is useless, and will literally buy a house based on nothing but "can it fit a table, and does the kitchen have counter space."
If I ever play in an amateur tournament or league is it even worth my time or will I just be wasting other players time?
P.p.p.s I didn't use AI, I'm just one of those marginally intelligent weirdos with decent grammer and a verbose writing style.
p.p.p.p.s should this post multiple posts?
***EDIT: I have tried to absorb Dr. Dave's beginner videos and just started with Bullseye Billiards (50/50 making a lag!)