How do you handle feeling chronically sexually unsatisfied in marriage?
My husband and I seem to have very different ideas about what a satisfying sex life looks like, and I’m struggling with it.
He seems perfectly happy having sex only occasionally, while I still want regular intimacy and sexual connection. On top of that, when we do have sex, he usually finishes pretty quickly, and I’m often left feeling frustrated, still turned on, and emotionally unsatisfied afterward.
The thing is, I’ve genuinely tried to work on this together. I’ve brought it up calmly, tried flirting more, sexting, initiating, creating more emotional connection during the day, planning time together, etc. But it never really changes for long, and he doesn’t seem particularly motivated to improve things because he seems content with how things are.
I’m starting to feel lonely and undesirable in my own marriage, which is hard because outside of this we function pretty well together.
I don’t need sex every single day or porn star level performance. I just want to feel wanted and like my pleasure and needs matter too!
For people who’ve dealt with mismatched libido or a partner who seems disengaged sexually: what helped? How do you approach this without turning it into constant pressure or resentment?