22 weeks pregnant loss.. events
5 years ago my wife and myself had a naturally conceived boy.. since then we tried to have another baby, and expand our family to 4 members, we tried IVF three times, the first two times, we didn't even get a positive pregnancy result, and finally on the third we succeeded that was back in December 2025, since then everything was perfect In every way, scans was done 2 times a month and all looked perfect, and for a small period of time, we hoped and planned, our minds drew a picture of the family we wanted and hoped to have.. almost 2 weeks ago, and on Tuesday we had our 3rd in depth 3d and 4d scan, our npit test was perfect, then the next day at dawn, I was bathing our little boy when my wife called me to our bedroom and told me that she feels something is very wrong with her, and I need to take her to the hospital, I didn't hesitate for a moment kept the boy with the nanny and took my wife to the hospital, in 30 minutes the room was full of doctors from both worlds our IVF clinic and the hospital, i knew that something is terrible is happening but due to my professional background ( I am a banker) didn't knew shit, but my wife is no fool she is a GP herself and knew whats going on.. nonetheless a few minutes later came the head doctor of our IVF clinic, and dropped the nuke on us, the baby boy is about to come out, I didn't understand what that even mean, my wife is 22 weeks pregnant we are out of the danger zone of the first trimester..
I had a small davistating talk with my wife, and we decided that we are going to do everything medicine and money can buy to save our boy, to the very end..
First night at the hospital they put my wife in bed elevated as to get gravity assistance in pushing the baby inside, then re-evaluate in the early morning, I called both our parents to tell them the news, and to have someone with my kid back home, who is still with the nanny.. it was a horrible night of crying and suffering... how can we move from happiness to such a state in such a short time.. we didn't sleep we kept thinking.. then I called on the incubator doctor.. and asked if it is possible to save our boy at 22 weeks, and called another hospital and another.. but all told me the same, the chances are slim at best and depends on a lot of stuff..
The next morning came at 8:00 am they told me that they are going to do surgery on my wife, to investigate and stich the cervical something.. and we went in, at 8:45 the dr. Called me to his office and told me that they couldn't do anything and now the baby will come out and we have no way to stop it, I asked about my wife health .. then about the baby's.. and i got to tell you it's not good at all, the doctor told me that the boy will probably die a few minutes after delivery..
I took two pills to help me calm down, and started preparing the burial and our next steps, while my wife is still awakening.. our boy came out at 6:23 pm and died at 6:26 pm ... my wife was under the meds so she barely remembers the whole thing, but I was there.. the next hours we had various family members come to our room to comfort us..
The next day was good Friday before Easter, so I took my baby and with a couple of friends buried him in an area the church has set for these angels.. I am an eastren orthodox Christian but rarely practice religion.. as we where standing next to my baby grave, I cried for the first time in my life and I cried heavily.. I screamed and I wept, a priest was walking, and cam to me and told me that my baby is in heaven, and he'll be waiting for you and your family when the time is right.. I wanted to punch him and destroy his face.. but after a few seconds if thought I was actually comforted with these few words he said..
I went back to the hospital and hugged my wife and kissed her, and as soon as the hospital said you can leave .. we left barely standing .. and here come or 5 years old boy asking where his brother is.. he actually thought that we went to hospital to get his brother out of mommy tummy.. I answered him with the following.. the baby got really sick and Jesus took him to heaven.. he will be staying with Jesus and not coming back.. he asked why ? And where is Jesus? And the usual child questions.. i kept it constant and with no over explanation.. I didn't want him to fear Jesus.. so I told him that he loves children and when they are really sick he takes them away to be happy with him ... what's am I supposed to tell him ? Your baby brother died because God wanted that or because mom body couldn't handle the pregnancy..
My wife on the other hand she is a doctor and she knows what happened.. but she is also a religious person.. and she told me that God gave us our first born with no problems and took our 2nd to save him and our family from some pain that we are going to suffer in the future.. he is full of mercy and ....etc.
Today we are surviving.. scared and grieving.. but our 5yo is our anchor.. we will survive we will live .. and we will enjoy our 3 member family together..
Why I shared my story you ask? Because now I am full of believe that when certain events are going to happen.. as losing a child it will happen regardless of your efforts to stop it, I was a proud man, I thought to myself I can always buy the best medical care for my family.. I am always ahead in planning, I am always assessing risks and taking the best road.. Will let me tell you .. in the face of such tragedy and event, I am nothing more than a simple dad praying for my family to be safe and be happy, and that thing no amount of money or power can ever buy,
I'll remember my baby and I love him dearly although I didnt have the chance to play or hear his breath.. but I'll meet him when the time is right.. of that I am certain