u/Intrepid_Wheel3477

To give some background me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 4 months now but were friends for a couple of months prior. I would say I’m a pretty mentally sound individual apart from having ADHD if you want to count that. My girlfriend on the other hand has had a pretty difficult life with the loss of her parents I her younger years, now living with her grandmother since middle school and having to pay the bills of the home along with struggling with BPD. Things have been going really well, my family absolutely loves her and I’ve never felt like I’ve found the person for me until I met her. But around two weeks ago things started to shift, she mentioned how she felt like she couldn’t be in a relationship for now as her work schedule and college are causing her to be extremely busy and the time taken out of her life for us to hangout and talk was negatively affecting this and her mental health has been deteriorating as a result. I was very understanding and we set some expectations and boundaries for this whole process, both of us wanting to be together once everything was cleared up and that being friends would be best for now. I was very understanding and supportive as I want her to be happy and take care of her responsibilities and wellbeing. The next weekend we decide to get lunch and it goes amazing but I do notice shes saying things that would be considered flirtatious “you’re face has gotten so much more chiseled recently”, “you’re so handsome”, “I love you”, and so on. As we’re wrapping things up it seems like she doesn’t wanna stop hanging out and she later confirms this so we go back to my place to watch a movie. I chose to hangout on the couch rather than my bed as to not make physical contact so easy and I even sat pretty far away so she didn’t feel weird. She asks me to spoon with her and I ask if she’s sure as we still haven’t gotten back together yet, she replies yes and kisses me somewhat unexpectedly. Now that the boundary has been broken and us being stupid teenagers one thing leads to another and so on. Things were good for a couple of days and she ends up doing the same “I can’t do this right now” thing the following Saturday. Again, I’m confused but understanding of her wishes but this time she seems to be much more distant, often being cold and then warm and not texting me the same or as much as she did earlier. Attempting to once again place those boundaries and rules with her, she seems very standoffish now. She went to her friends house last night without telling me which is weird because she usually does and when I asked why this was she replied saying that she didn’t have to tell me. This whole thing is very strange but she has her first session of therapy tomorrow and I need advice and direction for what to do.