Need advice pls
Apologies for the long text, I find it very embarrassing to talk to my friends about it so I thought I’ll leave this here. Hopefully I can get some advice on my situation.
I’m a 24M and I’ve been with my gf 21F for about 9months now. To add context, I meet her at university 3yrs ago and we started of have casual sex for about 5months where we both said we were the most comparable for each other and we had a great time together. It ended because it was my final yr and it was just her 1st. She ended it because she started to have feelings and at the time I wasn’t looking into long distance so I also agreed to end it just before the school yr ended. After I left she got into a toxic relationship a couple months after I graduated and that last about a year due to the fact he was very toxic and he accused her of emotionally cheating on him with me because she still was thinking about me and she did allow him to have sex for months because she wasn’t ready due to us just ending things. Fast forward, she reaching out to me again last year, I decided to get in a relationship with her because my life was different now, got a nice job and got me a car. So it wasn’t really long distance anymore.
Now present day, she has been going through a mental blockage for anything sexual and I’ve done my best as a bf not to make her feel uncomfortable, pressured or even expressed how it’s affecting me to avoid arguments. Since the 9months relationship we only had sex once. We have talked about it many times and she understands it’s not okay and it’s effecting our relationship. She doesn’t know what’s wrong because she was completely fine when we had casual sex when I was still a student and as much as she was in a bad relationship after she still had sex with her ex (mostly because he argued about it all the time, so she just did it to stop problems) which she knows was wrong. She also is on birth control too, she has had the hormone ring on and off for about 3yrs now. And just recently took it out because we believe her last relationship ending very bad triggered a side effects while using the ring (Lack of sex drive).
She also said recently she has lost her drive to even masturbate. Even turns away from me when she is getting dressed like she doesn’t want me to see her naked when she comes out the shower. I used to try to integrate things when I’m in the mood but her brain just switches off when anything sexual happens and she can’t get herself to anything sexual back. Obviously we cuddle and kiss but I need more.
Honestly I don’t want to force her or rush her to fix her sex drive but I don’t know how much longer I can wait, I do love her but by now I thought we would go back to how things used to be.