For context, my mother was always very boy motivated. She's been in a lot of relationships that unfortunately did not work out. She's now 68 F (gram is 86 F, I'm 32 F). A little over a month ago, my mom broke her hip at work. I instantly dropped everything (I run a channel and raise a family of 3) to run to the hospital. My mom was acting alright at first. She was upset about her hip, but in good spirits.
Then she went back to my grams house (my gram lives in a one floor house that my mom needs until she recovers). My gram is not doing well. She's got dementia and my mother has no patience for her whatsoever. Every single thing she says she screams at my gram. For example, my gram asked my mom if she wanted her to move a rug in the kitchen so she wouldn't trip over it with her walker and my mom screamed at her "MOM!". Totally uncalled for imo.
I try to keep the peace. I tell her to keep calm, take a deep breath, and relax because gram just can't remember some things. She doesn't remember things my mom just said to her and that pisses my mom off too. All she does is scream at my poor grandmother that has no idea what she's doing wrong (because she isn't doing anything wrong).
I tried to calm her down yesterday when they were fighting and I got screamed at saying she's the only one that has to deal with it (Not true. I'm there EVERY SINGLE DAY to help my mom) and how she can't wait to get the f out of here. She's completely obsessed by this guy she met online and will not change her mind about moving 3 hours away when she's healed to live with him.
I understand my mom misses her "bf" and wants to see him, but I don't feel that should be her priority at 68 years old with a total hip replacement. This man has not made a SINGLE effort to come see her once since she's broken her hip. She always drives out there to him, he's never come here for her.
She said his car doesn't work well. Well, I not only offered to drive her car 3 hours away to him, I also offered to drive out and pick him up so he can stay with her for the weekend. I EVEN OFFERED HIM TO STAY IN MY GUEST ROOM SINCE I KNEW MY GRAM WOULDN'T! He still did not come, but he's the "only good thing" in her life right now. Seriously? The man that hasn't done shit to come see the woman he claims to love that got hurt very badly is the best thing in her life? Not the daughter that has dropped everything and spends all day running around to do stuff for her and not the mother that's letting her live there for free and doesn't make her pay for anything except her car insurance? We aren't the good things, but the man that won't make a single effort to come and see her, that's who's important to her?
AITA here for thinking my mom's priorities are screwed up and how she's treating everyone around her like crap over missing her boyfriend?