maybe bisexual?
I [17 F] have identified as lesbian for around 2 years now, recently i’ve been starting to question that.
Before I identified as lesbian, I thought I was bisexual. After a while, I realized (or at least thought I realized) that I was not. I am sure of my attraction to women but i’m not sure how I feel towards men.
I like it when guys like me, I feel good about it and sometimes that makes me think i’m into them, eventually though (at least in the past) if it would go on for too long, i’d get uncomfortable and want to get away. This could just be butterflies or something but I don’t feel it is.
It’s hard to feel validated in my orientation when I have zero romantic or sexual experience with any one of any sex.
I find some guys attractive, but it’s usually only feminine looking men. (For an example, I saw a guy from the distance another day and thought he was a masc lesbian, turned out he was a guy he was still attractive). I still feel disconnected when other girls talk about guys. One time, I was with a group of straight girls and they asked me “my type” in guys and my mind went blank, I couldn’t even think of a fake type. I like fictional and celebrity guys a lot but it’s usually only if i get attached to the character. I also haven’t had a crush on an actual guy since i was like 10.
I wonder if it’s more of just loneliness and aesthetic attraction making me think i’m into guys? I usually think i’m into a guy every once and awhile but it always turns out that i wasn’t actually into him.
There was an attractive guy who I turned down a year ago because I was lesbian (I liked talking to him but when he asked for my number i got uncomfortable) and I still wonder if maybe I should have gone out with him, that could just be the loneliness talking though.
I’m not sure about how I feel and it’s stressful not knowing something so personal like that.