u/InternationalBunty

I had my breakup a while ago.

[https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/Yi61sN1ewS\](https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/Yi61sN1ewS)

I had a cordial call/text with my ex a few hours ago. She said “XYZ (my name), what if I tell you that I really like someone?. It just happened so unexpectedly.” Also when I asked if he’s older or younger than her (since she told me, when we were only friends, that she used to prefer someone older), she didn’t tell me but said “he’s just who he is. Not like I had thought, but he feels so mine”. Also shared “we started talking recently.. 3-4 weeks only”.

Idk how to feel about it. On the one hand, I am happy for her. But on the other.. my heart is heavy, particularly seeing her use the same line (“feels so mine”) for someone else now, that she used to use for me. That line was used for me. That was very special to me. Now I feel replaced. I feel sad.

I too want to move on, but I still remember her every 2nd day. How do I move on? How do I find a new partner? And most importantly, will I be able to love again?

I had my breakup a while ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/RelationshipIndia/s/eX5a6ies3O

I had a call/text with my ex a few minutes ago. She said “XYZ (my name), what if I tell you that I really like someone?. It just happened so unexpectedly.” Also when I asked if he’s older or younger than her (since she told me, when we were only friends, that she used to prefer someone older), she didn’t tell me but said “he’s just who he is. Not like I had thought, but he feels so mine”. Also shared “we started talking recently.. 3-4 weeks only”.

Idk how to feel about it. On the one hand, I am happy for her. But on the other.. my heart is heavy, particularly seeing her use the same line (“feels so mine”) for someone else now, that she used to use for me.

I had my breakup a while ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/Yi61sN1ewS

I had a cordial call/text with my ex a few minutes ago. She said “XYZ (my name), what if I tell you that I really like someone?. It just happened so unexpectedly.” Also when I asked if he’s older or younger than her (since she told me, when we were only friends, that she used to prefer someone older), she didn’t tell me but said “he’s just who he is. Not like I had thought, but he feels so mine”. Also shared “we started talking recently.. 3-4 weeks only”.

Idk how to feel about it. On the one hand, I am happy for her. But on the other.. my heart is heavy, particularly seeing her use the same line (“feels so mine”) for someone else now, that she used to use for me. That line was used for me. That was very special to me. Now I feel replaced. I feel sad.

(Repost because the previous one had typo in the title)

\*Long read\*

I had my breakup a few days ago. Please read this. \[[https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/G9WbkrJZv4\](https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/G9WbkrJZv4)]

Day before yesterday was my joining (my first ever job) day, and I got a mail from her “how are you doing”. I didn’t reply, and was thinking of what to reply the whole time. Then yesterday she saw my twitter profile and saw a report “the only karma I want for people who did me wrong is to meet someone like them”. She mailed me an angry text “if this report was for me, I’m glad we aren’t in touch. As if someone exercising her choice is doing injustice to you. This is the last time I’m reaching out”

I got very anxious and mailed her a long text, that it wasn’t for her and that I was not hurt by her saying ‘no’, but by the words and the tone she used that day.
She called me from a friend’s number and asked me to call her. We talked for 20 mins, and she said she’ll call tomorrow (ie today). She just did.

The gist of both the calls.

1. when I pointed out her words have been very rude, she apologised, though the tone was not very convincing.
2. I asked if she’s talking to someone (arrange marriage), she said “I’m sorry I can’t answer this. Coz then I know your brain will compare and you’ll become a different person”.
3. She said “I don’t want any ill will from you”. I assured her that I can never have ill will for her.
4. She said “I don’t think we can be friends. But we can’t be acquaintances and well-wishers. If something happens in your life, let me know. I’ll do the same. That’s it.” But honestly, this time also the tone was not very convincing.

I’m having mixed feelings. One the one hand, the old chapter is now closed for good. I really loved that girl. It feels sad that the end was not like I was hoping for. Specially the points she mentioned about me.. aisa feel ho raha as if those things led me to lose her.
On the other hand, now I can move on with my life. It isn’t going to be easy, but it is what is needed actually.

Also, the call/conversation delayed my healing. I am very anxious today, and my appetite has also disappeared. I had to take SOS medicine Clonazepam (used for panic attacks) just a while ago.

*Long read*

I had my breakup a few days ago. Please read this. [https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/G9WbkrJZv4](https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/G9WbkrJZv4)

Day before yesterday was my joining (my first ever job) day, and I got a mail from her “how are you doing”. I didn’t reply, and was thinking of what to reply the whole time. Then yesterday she saw my twitter profile and saw a report “the only karma I want for people who did me wrong is to meet someone like them”. She mailed me an angry text “if this report was for me, I’m glad we aren’t in touch. As if someone exercising her choice is doing injustice to you. This is the last time I’m reaching out”

I got very anxious and mailed her a long text, that it wasn’t for her and that I was not hurt by her saying ‘no’, but by the words and the tone she used that day.
She called me from a friend’s number and asked me to call her. We talked for 20 mins, and she said she’ll call tomorrow (ie today). She just did.

The gist of both the calls.

1. when I pointed out her words have been very rude, she apologised, though the tone was not very convincing.
2. I asked if she’s talking to someone (arrange marriage), she said “I’m sorry I can’t answer this. Coz then I know your brain will compare and you’ll become a different person”.
3. She said “I don’t want any ill will from you”. I assured her that I can never have ill will for her.
4. She said “I don’t think we can be friends. But we can’t be acquaintances and well-wishers. If something happens in your life, let me know. I’ll do the same. That’s it.” But honestly, this time also the tone was not very convincing.

I’m having mixed feelings. One the one hand, the old chapter is now closed for good. I really loved that girl. It feels sad that the end was not like I was hoping for. Specially the points she mentioned about me.. aisa feel ho raha as if those things led me to lose her.
On the other hand, now I can move on with my life. It isn’t going to be easy, but it is what is needed actually.

I don’t find any joy in living. I am constantly worried about the future. I often regret the past. I don’t think I can handle the responsibilities that come with marriage. I am just starting my career (bank PO) after years of UPSC preparation.
I am very-sensitive (emotionally). Thoughts of ending it all have visited my mind for years, but since I am the only son of my parents (I have a sister who lives far away), I can’t do it. I was doing therapy for 2+ years, still I feel the same. Have been on SSRIs also for quite some time (Depression/OCD). Nothing works for me.

I had a breakup recently [Breakup post https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/bPJrQ03jVB
, and have always struggled with emotional regulation [Emotional regulation (nervous system) post
https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/4SUu6JevxZ], but what I have written here.. it’s not a new feeling. I have felt it for years. It’s just that when I was with her, I didn’t feel this temporarily. But these thoughts have existed for a long time.

I don’t see any way ahead. Tomorrow is my joining day, and I feel no happiness.