u/InternationalBit2908

I really need help I have a messy past that is haunting me. I got married to a divorced unbeliever (in fact she was separated from her husband, their marriage was still valid and she had to divorce for us to marry legally). At that time I had backslidden, I wasn’t following God. I was a Christian in mind but was no longer living as one. That marriage lasted for about 2 years. The cause of this divorce was abandonment not from her but I believe I didn’t commit enough to that marriage for it to work, she tried but I didn’t but I grew cold and feel ashamed of this. This marriage was a marriage of convenience (visa pressures), in it I never felt legit, every time i thought of God and returning to him, I always felt guilty and I couldn’t find the confidence come back to God, every time i tried I was reminded of everything I have done.
As for the divorce we first lived separately for about 6 months until she called me one day to sign divorce papers.
After about 1 and a half years of this divorce I found myself back to church. I have repented and I’m a believer again and I want to continue seeking God. The issue now is I’m I biblically allowed to marry, is it in God’s will that i should marry. I’ve reached out to ex wife and I’ve apologized told her I was the one wrong and I neglected our marriage. She said she found someone and she said wish that I find someone too.
Now at church, I found a woman (32) I'm 35, we are in a healthy relationship, we are both Christians, she's a strong believer and to be honest looking back this relationship has brought me closer to God and helped my walk with God.
There are so many teachings on this topic, I want what is Good for me and for my partner, if It is God’s will I plan to marry. I’m seeking God’s direction on this, my past is so messed up and I don't want us to end up in an adulterous marriage. Or create more problems, especially for her. I’ve messed up and I honestly need your help.

I really need help I have a messy past that is haunting me. I got married to a divorced unbeliever (in fact she was separated from her husband, their marriage was still valid and she had to divorce for us to marry legally). At that time I had backslidden, I wasn’t following God. I was a Christian in mind but was no longer living as one. That marriage lasted for about 2 years. The cause of this divorce was abandonment not from her but I believe I didn’t commit enough to that marriage for it to work, she tried but I didn’t but I grew cold and feel ashamed of this. This marriage was a marriage of convenience (visa pressures), in it I never felt legit, every time i thought of God and returning to him, I always felt guilty and I couldn’t find the confidence come back to God, every time i tried I was reminded of everything I have done.
As for the divorce we first lived separately for about 6 months until she called me one day to sign divorce papers.
After about 1 and a half years of this divorce I found myself back to church. I have repented and I’m a believer again and I want to continue seeking God. The issue now is I’m I biblically allowed to marry, is it in God’s will that i should marry. I’ve reached out to ex wife and I’ve apologized told her I was the one wrong and I neglected our marriage. She said she found someone and she said wish that I find someone too.
Now at church, I found a woman (32) I'm 35, we are in a healthy relationship, we are both Christians, she's a strong believer and to be honest looking back this relationship has brought me closer to God and helped my walk with God.
There are so many teachings on this topic, I want what is Good for me and for my partner, if It is God’s will I plan to marry. I’m seeking God’s direction on this, my past is so messed up and I don't want us to end up in an adulterous marriage. Or create more problems, especially for her. I’ve messed up and I honestly need your help.