Hello everyone, any thoughts about my situation is appreciated
Hello everyone! I hope you are doing well. I just came here to ask you how you guys did it? Surviving the pain of infidelity.
I was with my ex for almost 2 years— in 3 months in our relationship he cheated on me by sexting with someone, I found it out because the girl contacted me, he eventually admitted to it but promised that he would change so I gave him a chance, I should have left when this happened but I am deeply and truly attached and in love with him that time, our relationship continued and it was great— 8 months in our relationship he visited me in my home country for 1 week, over all for me it was a great experience, the relationship runs it’s course and it came to a point that he became busy with his work and study that sometimes he forgets to text me. I was too blinded with it and looking back there were so many signs that he wasn’t really that into me as I am to him, Feb of 2025 he broke up with me and it was truly devastating. I was depressed and lose so much weight because I couldn’t eat and sleep whilst struggling with my new work. Eventually I found out that he had slept with someone 2 weeks after the break up and that feeling made me feel I hit the rock bottom. One night while I am at my work April 2 I just left and start doing things like widthrawing my savings and leaving suicide letters to my family and just tried to overdose myself and end my life. My youngest sister saw I was covered with blood and start screaming- I woke up in the hospital.
I tried to be better but I just kept trying all the possible ways to end my life because the pain was too unbearable the idea of him with another woman, laid in bed naked while I am wide awake and couldn’t even survive just put me in a very tough spot. I eventually accepted the fact that maybe it’s all for the best and started moving on.
I am currently in a new relationship now. He’s a great guy and he listens to me, he makes me feel heard and seen. I love him but I know I will always have that guard I built because of the pain I went through— and when my current boyfriend now talks about sexual stuff, I get really uncomfortable I don’t know if it because of what my ex did to me that made me hate or made me uncomfortable about sex but, yeah… I want to be more sexual to my boyfriend now (we are in a long distance) but in the back of my mind I feel uncomfortable about it :/