u/Internal_Equal1900 — reddlx

Update after: https://www.reddit.com/r/RelationshipIndia/s/ccAdWuNbR6

Gf of 4 years, confessed she likes another guy.. I found out that she has not just developed this crush/liking recently but has been feeling for this guy for the past 4-5 months... And confessed to me only now.

She said she was missing my presence but we met every month and I kept video calling her throughout the relationship, kept giving her love and attention, gave her gifts, planned dates, and we even only recently (25 days ago) hit base 3 for the first time [yes, in a 4 year relationship]

I'm terrified thinking about all the time we have been spending together, I don't know if she was thinking about me or him when we were being physical.

I don't know what to make of it.

I'm horrified, hurt, I'm screaming because I don't know what caused her to do this even though I gave it my all...

May such pain never find anyone. May such a girl never date anyone. May such doubts never prick anyone.

Warning: Long rant ahead! I need to let this out.

I and my girlfriend have been in a relationship since college - it's been 4 years.

We have had a really turbulent relationship, and there have been various instances in our relationship in the past where she was talking to another guy or actually staring at another guy and then apologized to me. She's also someone with chronic depression and has been suicidal.

I let all of that slide, and still continued to be in the relationship, and thought that she really has changed for the past 2 years and that she has actually stopped being interested in other guys. I thought she became mature.

Then we graduated from college and she and I went into an LDR. We're 4 hours away from each other and she still visits my city often because her sister also lives here. We go on dates, I planned and took her out on some dates, gifted her stuff for Valentine's etc.

Our parents have met on our convocation day in college -- things really seemed to be finalized almost, it seemed to me like we were really the college sweethearts who rose past their troubles and were going to marry (as we both had planned to always, so did our parents then).

Last night while talking to me at 2am, she suddenly starts talking about how she misses me, and then mentioned about this other guy in her team, who's from the same batch as us but from another college. And how he is smart just like I am, and he also speaks first in meetings just like I do because I'm confident. And how she sees me in him.
And then says in a sad and serious voice "I think I'm liking him a little" and then saw my awkward silence and then apoligized saying "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that".

I was initially not affected. I've not been an insecure guy either, and that guy isn't really great looks wise either. I let the call go on and let it end.

But after the call, I just couldn't stop thinking about how she is sitting in another city, and she openly admitted to liking another guy in her team. She calls other guys cute etc, but this was completely different. I've always respected her, I've always made sure to never make her feel like she was replacable, I've made sure she should never feel like there's another girl who could ever have a place in my mind.

And here she was, she just admitted to liking another guy. I brought it up today morning and finally decided to end things with her. I just couldn't imagine a future with a girl who could admittedly like another guy and treat me like a template/prototype.

I blocked her and haven't talked to her all day - she messaged me at 9:30pm in the night saying she tried ending herself 5 times today. And this has always been the case, everytime I said I want to end things after a big fight - she says she feels like dying etc.

But today, I can't go back to this hell. I decided not to. I messaged and informed her sister about these attempts at suicide. I cannot take responsibility anymore. I feel horrible about how she said she is liking another guy at office and I'm so done.

I'm feeling empty... I haven't told my mom about this yet, my mom literally showed me a pic of my gf, her mom, my mom and me -- a photo the 4 of us had taken on the convocation day. And I didn't know how to tell her about what has happened. Just feeling broken.

I've been a topper, I've also been successful in terms of my job placement, I'm also attractive conventionally (or so I've been told) -- and in the end she ends up liking another guy and says he's as smart as me. When I even joked and said in that call "I know he won't be as smart as me" I could see her almost defending him and saying "Yeahh, no waise he's also smart like you, he reminds me of you" or something to that effect.

I don't know what to do. I just don't know. Not looking for solutions, I just needed to write this down.