AIO// Father wants kids to spend the night with him, Mother doesn't feel it's safe.
Trigger warning: the word Pedo
Sorry about it being kinda long
Okay so I could really use some unbiased opinions here and what better way than asking reddit?
Okay so i'll keep a long story short. The father (25) of my children had our toddler son with him and his mother for a day, they had gone to a family game night. I didn't go because i don't have a great relationship with his mother. my kids father had texted me saying "I wish you would have took him with you, my pedo uncle is here....well creepy uncle". I responded telling him to keep our son. near him at all times. I did this on the account of assuming his family would be kicking this guy out the party.
Turns out, they didn't.
And in addition to that, my son's shirt was changed from the shirt that I put him in and it REEKED of woman's perfume. I had asked my kid's father why his shirt was changed and first he stated that he didn't know. then he stated, the original shirt was too big, and lastly resided with the original shirt was short sleeve and they (his mother and him) wanted to put a long sleeve shirt on because it was cold out. My son did have a coat with him and secondly, my son gets hot VERY fast. It's also important to note that prior to this party, my daughter was also with her dad, and her ENTIRE outfit was changed from what i put on her. INCLUDING, SHOES, SOCKS, SHIRT. HIs excuse was that she pooped in her pants. I've asked multiple times why was everything else changed if she only pooped in her pants and i have still yet to receive an answer.
Granted, I had diapers, wipes, and change of clothes however, I had forgotten to bring it with them. (I was only gone for 2-3 hours max) So the father and his mother had to buy new diapers and wipes. This whole incident was over a month ago and i have completely cut contact with his mother. I only keep in contact with him because he's their dad.
Anyways, fast forward to today. whenever i ask my kids father if he could watch our kids, he wants me to bring him to where he lives. It's an hour away from me and his mother lives there. (My anger is more towards her because she has the vehicle and could have easily taken my son out of that environment. (Plus she has disrespected me on MULTIPLE occasions). I constantly tells him no they are not coming up there and he rebutted by saying he doesn't feel "comfortable" with coming down here where i live with my children and that he shouldn't have to break his boundaries to make me feel comfortable. I have explained to him that since everyone is cool with the ped creepy uncle, that i don't feel comfortable with my children being up there because he could easily just pop up. In addition to that, I don't trust his mother.
Am I overreacting about this? Am i okay to be upset that this dude is putting his comfort over the safety our kids? Please, i would like some other insight and i can fill in any gaps of questions.