u/Internal-Insect-5231

Before I start I am aware there are mostly adults on here but I don’t have anyone else to tell and I don’t know what to do so I hope you can help. I am a 16 yr old female I’ve left school and currently looking for a job which means I have a lot of free time and am in the house a lot I’ve never ever talked to my dad he left before I was born and I’ve never seen him so I don’t have the option to go to my dads the only reason I bring this up is bc I have a half brother who goes to his dads whenever our mums bf is over which is something I wish I could do me and my brother are both on the same page I’ve also talked to my friends and they have said that there concerned for me and my mental health as they have noticed me changing. I don’t want to go completely in depth but what I will say is they have only been official for a few months now and I’ve seen them kiss and he basically lives here he comes over almost every week if he’s not at our house mum goes to his house and I feel like I’m not getting any time with my mum at all I feel like she’s choosing her bf over her own kids I hate to admit this but bc she’s away so often I’m getting the urge to drink alcohol smoke vapes throw parties which is why my friends are getting concerned bc I’m super innocent I would never think about doing any of that stuff but bc I know my mum wouldn’t care and she probably wouldn’t even notice and yes I have told her how I feel but I haven’t told her that I feel the urge to be a rebel all I’ve told her is that I feel like she’s spending to much time with her bf and not enough with her children my brother is still in school so atleast he’s away during the day when my mum and her bf are hanging out I feel trapped in my room when he’s here and I feel like this man is taking my mum away from me and everytime my mum tells us she’s going to hang out with him I feel the urge to punch a wall drink alcohol hit a vape all that shit I know I probably sound super selfish but I can’t control how I feel my mum has been there for me my entire life now all of a sudden it feels like she’s just gone and I’m just left to fend for myself just like that it all feels so quick she says there going slow but this is the quickest I’ve ever seen her settle down with a boy i just wish I had a dad or someone to go to when my mum isn’t there she used to be there for me through everything I used to tell her everything and we were so close but ever since that stupid guy came he’s toke my mum away from me ngl at first being home alone was nice but then it started to become lonely I’d invite friends just so I don’t overthink things and start freaking out but I just want my mum back it was all far to quick and she’s away like every single day and night she may aswell just move in with him I’m working on trying to move out and into my own place but without a job I can’t exactly save for a house please help me and let me know what I should do bc telling her my true feelings only gave me a lecture I’ve been felling super lonely and have had enough I’ve tried not being so selfish I’ve tried to accept it but I can’t.