u/Interesting-Wait7544

Are there any "outgoing" virgins on this sub?

My long-time and closest friends know my (non) sexual status (I just confirmed it to a friend of over 10 years. I think she got suspicious around year 4 once I never brought a partner around).

But anyone else would never guess I'm a FA virgin. I'm sure most people (including my family) think I just fuck around and don't get serious.

The gag is, it's totally the OPPOSITE. Part of it is my outgoing personality, and part of it is I make it seem that way with certain (fake) comments, etc. like "ugh, I can't do relationships", "I hate men". All of which are true, but for totally different reasons.

I started a new job a few years ago in a new city where nobody knew me, so I kind of went with that narrative to throw everyone off my virgin scent. I try to make it sound like I had a really bad relationship in the past and have sworn off men/relationships.

Does anyone else do the same? I feel like this fake facade is going to catch up with me one day.

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You guys are the only ones that would get my POV and hopefully not judge someone in my position too harshly.

Me, an almost 40F virgin, FA, was told by a coworker they're in love with me. We have worked together for almost 3 years now, and always got on relatively well. Nothing too out of the ordinary but in the last year or so I felt "something" was there, but I wasn't thinking romantically at all; never thought anything like this! And I thought it was all 1 sided and in my head.

I never expected him to confess anything like this.

I've tried to deny it for a while now, but he is very persistent and compliments me all day everyday.

And it's not just compliments; we can talk literally about anything, and we do. We mostly agree on most subjects, and if we don't, we always see the others POV and end up agreeing any way.

Which works out well when there's a work conflict, BC we always handle conflicts with eachother pretty damn great. One time (years ago before any feelings) our manager told us we "fight like an old married couple." I thought that was so weird and odd; it really caught me off guard, but now I sort of see what he meant.

He's pretty much perfect for me except he's married with children. I've had crushes before but nothing like this. The way we get along, know what the other is thinking, always thinking the same thing at the same time....it's crazy. He sees me 110% for me. I don't have to hide or pretend anything with him.

I know it could never go anywhere, and I mostly don't feel anything physically for him.

In general I rarely get physically turned by anyone (hence my status and being in this group).

But sometimes he'll say things and I'll get aroused, but it's not like I want him to "quench the thirst". Half of it is because he's married with kids, half of it is me and my weird, unknown sexuality.

If he wasn't married, and if we could get over the whole "friends first" thing, I'm sure we'd have sex; I could figure something out lol.

But alast that's not the case and we're in the situation we're in, in the real world. He's leaving the company in a few months so idk what to do.

Enjoy this emotional affair while it lasts, even though I know it will break me into a billion pieces when it's over, or actually have moral integrity and stop playing into it (which is very hard BC we see eachother everyday, he's very persistent and we're very attracted to eachother. To the point where the more we deny it the stronger the attraction gets).

I know I'm a horrible and selfish person but this is the first time I'm having any romantic feelings, esp like this and it's actually being reciprocated.