u/Innamoratta

Would you say you really want a relationship? How badly?

Describe your ideal relationship and how you guys behave in them.

I don't know if this is MBTI, my enneagram, or what, but... When doing research, you first have to categorize or classify the person, place, or thing, right? Then I'll then go into further analysis. If I find out that my original classification is wrong though, after already doing so much research on the--apparently wrong--thing, I'll just argue for my wrong classication at that point 😭😭

Like I already got attached and educated on that thing. I'm not reframing it all, haha. This doesn't apply to everything. Usually, I am constantly changing my perspective as further info updates it. Like with politics or history, corrections are wonderful.

But in certain things, it's like building a tower or making a map. If I find out that where I started is actually wrong, and I'll have to destroy that whole tower or scrap the map, I'm just going to die on that rock.

Like I knew one guy everyone thinks is an ISTJ, but some people said ESTJ or even ENTJ. I was soo convinced about ISTJ and did so much research (and a lil daydreaming 🤫) until I realized all that might be wrong. Then I was like, "You know what??? No, he's an ISTJ."

I'm a university student, online. I've never been great. Always submit everything late, even though I get good grades otherwise, but a recent situation (death in the fam) put me on academic probation. Since then, I've barely been making it. In fact, I might be kicked out soon. I've been wanting to get away from home for a long time though, hoping to go in person. My parents are always super critical of me and try to involve themselves even though they know I hate it when they interfere.

I'm trying to figure out how to dig myself out of this hole. My mother always blames my phone and tells me I'd be a better student if I gave it to her (I'm 20, btw, lmao) My father is super critical as well and both of them accuse me of not even caring. I'm the one who pays for it and I DO care, I'm just super anxious about failing that I can't even open my laptop sometimes. I'm so perfectionistic that as soon as I submit one thing late, I feel like throwing it all away.

But I think I would be a better student if I got away from home and went in person. Part of the reason I get distracted isn't my phone. It's actually lowkey them. I can't tell you how many times I was supposed to work on an assignment, but my Mother wanted to have family time. Or just this year alone, they've scheduled multiple events--vacations, parties, almost weekly potlucks--and I always have to help prepare and give time to participate. Then they also have certain expectation for me about domestic stuff and yard maintenance. I always have to forsake my personal goals for them. They don't respect me as an individual or my desire to create an efficient routine that allows me to do what I need to. Not to mention my Dad has the TV blaring several hours every day until midnight.

When I am on my phone, it's often to cope. Other times, it's me just trying to get some socialization. I totaled my vehicle at the beginning of the year, and so far, I've only seen my friends once. They act like it's an inconvenience for me to go anywhere.

I'm under a lot of stress and I feel like their constant criticisms and expectations are destroying me.

Is this really just a "phone" issue and immaturity, or do I have some validity here?

Does anyone else's parents or family constantly criticize the mess that comes with creativity and crafts? 😅😕😕