Future mil upset I’m not taking my fiancés last name
A few backstory points
- I have always planned to change my last name as I have never had a relationship with my father but knew I would never take a partners last name. I have never liked the gay the women are assumed to have to change theirs.
-I have had a conversation with fmil about how she was very upset about her changing hers because she loved her maiden name
She recently while my finance was in another room asked if she could ask me a personal question which was if I am going to be taking their name. I stated that my fiancé and I have both actually been thinking of changing our last name. I never asked him to do so but he wanted to as he wants to have the same last name as me and our future children to all have the same last name, which I did not tell her all of our reasons nor did I list them all. I don’t think that she needs to know why. She then broke down crying about how he won’t be apart of the family and she was just so exited for me to be sort of theirs. I did explain at that point he still would be as would I and mentioned her previous comments about how she herself was upset about changing hers last name so why should I be obligated to. She has brought it up again since and wants us to keep her in the loop on what we decide .
I have no idea what to do in this situation to get her to understand it isn’t anything personal nor am I forcing him to do anything he doesn’t want to do.