Protectiveness and grief
I’ve been feeling a lot of emotions lately that I’m struggling to put into words.
There’s a real possibility that this baby may be our only child. I’m so grateful to be pregnant, but I’ve also started feeling this unexpected grief that this may be the last time I ever feel my baby move inside me, the last time I experience pregnancy, and soon I’ll have to deliver them and let them go out into this world.
I didn’t expect to feel this protective and emotional before they’re even here. Recently, I had a discussion with my parents about vaccines/precautions before being around the baby, especially during the first few months when babies are so vulnerable. My dad said he’d need to ask his doctor, which is completely reasonable, but I think I reacted from a place of fear. I caught myself saying “my baby” in a way that probably came across rude or possessive.
I think IVF has made me feel like I need to protect this baby from everything, because getting here was so hard and I know nothing about this journey felt guaranteed. I don’t want to push my family away, but I also want to feel confident that I’m keeping my baby safe.
For other IVF moms, especially those who knew or suspected this might be your only pregnancy: did you feel this kind of grief, protectiveness, or anxiety near the end of pregnancy? How did you cope with the transition from carrying your baby to having them out in the world? And how did you handle boundaries with family without feeling like you were being too harsh?
I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through something similar.