AITA for defending my "odd" behavior?
I’m a 19M working retail at a small clothing store where most of my coworkers are women. Because the space is tight, we’re constantly squeezing past each other behind the counter or on the floor during busy times.
At some point, I picked up a habit. Whenever I have to pass closely by someone, I bring my hands up near my chest, not crossed, just held there, so it’s clear I’m not touching anyone. I started doing it because I didn’t want to accidentally make anyone uncomfortable. It just felt like a safe and respectful default.
No one at work has ever commented on it, so I didn’t think much of it. But now it’s become automatic, and I catch myself doing it everywhere.
A few nights ago, I was at a friend’s house with a group of about six people. We were all in a crowded kitchen, and when I moved past one of my friends, I did the same thing with my hands.
She immediately noticed and asked why I do that. I explained it’s just something I got used to at work so I don’t accidentally make anyone uncomfortable.
She said it didn’t come across as respectful and that it felt strange, like I was assuming people would misinterpret my intentions. Another friend agreed and said it actually made things feel more awkward.
That frustrated me. I said I’m not trying to draw attention to it, just trying to be mindful and not come off the wrong way. I would rather be cautious than risk making someone uncomfortable, especially since no one at work has ever had an issue with it.
She replied that no one asked me to do that and that I was the one making things awkward. I pushed back and said it seemed unfair to criticize me for trying to be considerate.
It turned into a bit of an argument, and the mood felt off afterward.
Now I’m second guessing myself. I thought I was being respectful, but they made it sound like it comes across as odd or even a little off putting.