Why is it so hard to move on? I screwed up
was ghosted almost a year ago, and since I gained weight, I cried, I went through a roller coaster of emotions and slowly tried to find myself again.
I started my craft business, back to the gym, even tried talking to some people (definitely not ready for that)
but with the war happening, i was weak and reached out thinking he wouldn't reply but he did.
he told me what has been happening since he ghosted me and his life went to shit
honestly even I think karma took it too far lol
we stopped texting
but the war just seem to keep getting worst and worst so I worry cause his line of work. I loved this man I can't help but to worry about his family and him, i reached out again to see how they were doing, he replied and then. he sent me a voicemail and accidentally called me "babe" he seemed to have shocked himself too, to see how natural it came out (he knows my name but he only used it to introduce me)
that opened up all those emotions and wounds but also melted my heart.
he is on the other side of the world so no we will not get back together. we were together for 2 years we were living together until he had to move n ghosted
he always sucked at texting but it got to the point I felt I couldnt trust him, not that he was cheating but if something happened to me I couldn't count on him.
besides that we had a healthy relationship.
im ranting i am glad he is okay I would had been okay if he said "im okay" and done but hearing his voice hearing him say babe
we havent discuss the ghosting and honesty i dont think I am ready for that conversation.
I wont continue to text him but definitely hate myself for worrying. cant even tell my friends about this cause they hate him for making me suffer