Not feeling desired during sex
Not really sure how to start this, but I'm in need of advice! I've been with my wife 11 years, married for 4 years. Our sex life before marriage was amazing!! We both would enjoy it, try new and different things, loads of oral and random positions and it was exciting. Post marriage, the sex got less but it was still nice when we used to have it. It got less partly because of me having a porn addicition which continued until after we had a child. Post partum was a difficult period for my wife. Sex was almost non-existant since her being pregnant. We discussed this, I agreed to not watch porn and we went through our wants/needs and desires both sexual and non sexual. Now, I dont watch porn and I act on her desires, the way she wants to be touched, cared for etc I try my best.
My issue is atm, she doesnt act on anything I've discussed so now when we have sex it feels a bit one sided? Like she will enjoy it, i will do all the foreplay she likes, she cums as many times as she wants and feel satisfied at the end. Although, I dont get none of that despite discussing it, no oral, a few kisses, not much touch etc, sometimes I dont finish and she'll ask whats happened?? And I'm thinking really?? Then she'll try and put a bit more effort in but by that point not really into it anymore.
Oral sex is something I love and it seems she is not into it anymore as she was before so now I feel like I dont get everything i want from sex, so its harder for me to want sex? But if i dont want sex, im the issue and when we do have sex, its when she wants it rather than a spontaneous moment, like it has to be planned... it just feels a bit mundane and boring. I love her with all my heart and really want to improve our sex life but im not sure how to at this point. We've sat down discussed it all, she says she understands and then the next few times we have sex shes back to how she was, no changes, no consideration of my desires, to me it feels like for her its about who gets off first, rather than enjoying an intimate moment. Sex atm is not regular, it can go beyond a month with no sex. I'm not sure if anymore talking or discussing it is going to help at this point so im lost.
Context - generally we cover the chores and household well between us, I'd say its a 65/35 split to her with the chores, she works less and i'm currently studying on top of a full time job. We are both 30
If I havent explained anything well, happy to continue in the comments, any advice would be great.