My gf (26F) and I (31M) have had a very sexually open relationship since the beginning. We met talking about kinks and we’ve always been extremely honest with each other. We’ve done swinging with couples, played with single men, single women, and most experiences have been positive. Our sex life as a couple is great and we have a strong connection.
Recently we met up with another couple and the experience wasn’t good for her (she didn’t like the guy and felt uncomfortable). After that, she told me she felt a lot of jealousy seeing me giving affection and attention to the other woman. It’s not fear of losing me or me falling in love, but a strong discomfort just from seeing the act itself. She said she never wants me to be with other women again.
However, she still wants to continue seeing other men. I can understand her jealousy and I’m okay with foi sing only on men, because that’s actually the dynamic that turns me on the most. The problem isn’t that I’m desperate to be with women all the time. What’s bothering me is the permanent ban and the asymmetry of the situation.
I feel frustrated, a bit trapped, and unfairly treated. It feels like the rule only applies to my side. If the roles were reversed (me feeling jealous and forbidding her from seeing other men), I’m almost sure it wouldn’t be accepted so easily.
Has anyone been through something similar? How do you deal with asymmetrical jealousy in non-monogamy? Is it normal to feel this way even though I actually prefer the dynamic with men? I’m worried that if I just swallow this, resentment will build up later.
Thanks for reading.