What should I do?
My wife and I are going through a divorce after 13 years of marriage. We have two daughters together. We separated last year and she immediately started seeing someone new — a guy who worked at her apartment complex. Despite that, I still wanted to try to save the marriage.
We had already drafted full divorce paperwork through my attorney, agreeing to 50/50 timesharing with no financial entanglements. But before we filed, that relationship fell apart and she had a change of heart. I gave her another chance. Because the guy she'd been dating worked at her complex, she agreed to move and I helped pay for a new apartment — yeah, I know.
What I didn't know at the time: I later found out through old security cameras that she had still been seeing him — on the same day we signed the new lease together.
She also has diagnosed Bipolar Disorder, depression, and BPD. Around this time her mental health got significantly worse and she was Baker Acted (involuntarily committed). During that period she was telling me she still wanted to work on the marriage. But while she was there, she met someone new — a man 12 years younger than her who reportedly has a drinking problem — and is now in a relationship with him.
I've officially filed for divorce. I'm fine with 50/50 timesharing continuing — that's not my concern. What I'm seeking is ultimate decision-making authority, meaning we'd still share parental responsibility, but I'd have final say when we reach a stalemate on major decisions like schooling, healthcare, and extracurriculars.
Given the pattern of impulsive decisions, the documented mental health history, and a new partner with reported substance issues potentially being introduced to my daughters, I feel like I have grounds — but I want to hear from people who've actually been through this.
Do I have a realistic case for ultimate decision-making in Florida? Is it worth pursuing or will a judge default to equal shared responsibility regardless? Is it even worth it?