I'm in my early 40's and thinking of moving back to NJ from Philly. It's been more than a decade since I lived in JC. How is it for singles? It was tough back in the early 2010s as I noticed lots of couples there. How do people like it? Also are there other options in the area? I know Montclair, but I can't even guess the dating scene out there.
I was at a bar last weekend and spoke with a married couple for a few minutes. I'm in my early 40s/m and was just talking to them about general things. I'm a single guy and wanted to hear their feedback on the city. The wife went into dating and how she knows a lot of great women in NYC that are single and struggle to date. But then she told me about some of their red flags when they go out with a man. She said there standards are off the charts on what they want.
No coffee dates, not texting enough or texting too much before the date, picking a restaurant they don't feel is good enough for the first date, moving targets of expectations. One said a guy made a corny joke on the date and that was enough for her to get the "ick".
I'm sure guys do terrible things, but those expectations seem like a tv sitcom rather than real life. Is it really that bad out there now? It seems like the shallow things are mattering more than the actual character of the person.
I'm (43/m) from Northern NJ and lived in this area most of my life. I am currently single, never married, no kids. I have spent the last 4 years in the burbs of NJ and it's been like living in social isolation. I haven't had a date in 5 years and no matter how much I go out I cannot seem to meet anyone in this area.
All my peers tell me to go to NYC, which I tried back in 2010. I just felt like it was too much the first time. Dating in NYC was extremely difficult for me. (I'm not the best in the looks department).
I spend the last 5 days staying in the city and I felt more alone there than I did in the burbs this time around. I went out and tried to make friendly convo with people, but if anything they seemed annoyed talking to others. I tried a meet up and I found many of the people there slightly odd(my opinion obviously).
I don't know where to move to as a single man that has a hard time building a community. I tried running groups, work out classes, photography clubs, etc. It just feels like networking is very tough nowadays.
Even dating feels like everyone is chasing the same type of person. I say feels like since I know thats not true. But most of the people in relationships I've noticed many of the men have a similar look to them. Maybe that's whats in demand in this area.
Just looking for ideas on where someone at my age can move to that would have a potentially better time socializing vs the NYC area. (Also Philly is out, not a fan at all)