This time we went only 10 hours between me speaking up for myself and finding myself right back here again. Less than 10 hours
I work later than he does, and without fail by the time I’m off work he’s at the bar. I often just have to show up to the bar to get to see him. It’s gotten worse. Two years of a relationship where he’s helpful with the house, a partner in projects and there for me emotionally. It’s a rock and a hard place to give someone up who is a companion in so many ways but then hurts me so much again and again and again by breaking his promises, this time in under 10 hours
I ask can he not go out once in a fucking while
I ask can he abstain from getting drunk or stoned for a few extra hours so that he’s not already fucked ip by the time I’m even off work
I ask that we can go back to spending time doing something fun together once in a fucking while, like even a god damn date night every other week like people who are actively looking forward to seeing their partner do. But today, it was those less than 10 hours later, while he came up with an excuse to “give me some space” and I find him at his shop drunk and stoned, the night we were going to spend together, the night I almost didn’t even want to bother spending together because I knew he was ONLY suggesting it because he got “in trouble” and then HE DIDNT EVEN FOLLOW THROUGH 10 HOURS LATER
Edit: it wasn’t physically slapped in the face, but I should know better than to use an analogy like that so I am removing it. More than it just feels like a gut punch