u/Impossible_Shine1664

I've been basically looking for a therapist in my country (Brazil) to work on my attachment alongside my IPF self-work. Still, it has been difficult to find someone, and also frustrating because some of them don't like IPF at all, even tho I'm not suggesting them to use it in the therapy, just informing that I'm doing it is sufficient to bring commentaries.

Most of them have been on guard but open, but today I had one that straight up said to me after I explained what the visualization entail that it sounded like I was using it to scape reality,  then she asked me how much time I spent visualizing, I replied about 15 minutes a day on focused time but I could "visualize it" in real time too, but that wasn't the focus of the method.

Then she said that it sounded like a kind of manifestation practice, like a positive vibrations practice where you wish for something and send it out there so the universe will actualize it, to which I replied the whole theory of the remapping of the attachment.

It was very frustrating, because she literally denied any positive change as "living an alternative reality", she was very concerned that I was using too much mental power to uphold the two realities in my head all the time, at some point I just gave up and let her have it, then just decided she's not a good fit.

I'm very frustrated right now, I'm thinking about giving up on trying to look for new therapists...

I'm asking out of curiosity, I have never dreamed about them, as far as I recall, maybe I did already but don't remember. Have you ever dreamed about them? If yes, do you wanna share with us how the experience was?

Hey guys, I hope you're doing great. Here I am for my late—very late—six-month update on my journey with IPF. For context, I’ve been doing solo IPF visualization, along with other metalization exercises on the side, Qigong, and Yoga.

I also need to point out that for the last three months, I haven’t been doing therapy on the side because my EMDR therapist had some reservations about me practicing IPF on the side, since he thought that different parts of the psyche have different needs, and thus visualizations like that are dangerous and not recommended, according to him. I didn’t want to drop IPF, so I’m looking for another therapist currently.

My practice:

• IPF visualization, with some focus on attachment and ideal parent figures.
• IPF visualization before sleep—you can follow along with these visualizations or do them on your own.
• Mentalization exercises during the day.
• Co-regulation and trying to get into groups and join collaborative work.

Results:

• I’m feeling much more secure in my relationship with my ideal parents. I feel like they are here for me and that I can come back home anytime.
• I feel more empowered and motivated by this relationship to work on myself, get things done, explore the world, and be more assertive.
• I am starting to feel like I know what it feels like to be secure in my body, and I can recognize those sensations.
• I’m recognizing more quickly when relationships are not genuine and when I’m feeling off. So I can better identify signs of a lack of fulfillment of the 5 pillars in my relationships with other people.

Bonus:

I’ve done an ECR-RS test this month to compare with the first one. Keep in mind, this is not a totally reliable test of attachment, but it’s the best we have in terms of self-reporting ones. As you can see, there was a big difference in the results, especially the father one, which I feel like has been the biggest improvement after I started to believe he loved me (Projection from my real father)

First month

This month

This is an update to my last post here, to resume the situation, JNMom is in a rampage of boyfriends and marriages, planning to marry the new boyfriend, whom she has been with for 3 months now and they somehow decided to bring his husky to live with them, even though we have a Yorkie at the same house

This morning my brother called me to ask about the Yorkie because the dogs have had another incident. Essentially, the Yorkie entered the separate space of the Husky and was scared by him, but the housekeeper was very quick to resolve the situation, so no physical harm occurred

They have no idea how my dog got there in the first place, but she was scared, then said loud and clear that if there's no one there to supervise there might be tragedy, I called my family and other people who could shelter my dog, no success except for one person

Then I went on to talk to JNMom because there was now an incident, she went full victim mode and I almost couldn't get a word edgewise, she accused my brother of finding a way to impact her, said that he's out to get her, and that he's being influenced by his father's family

I had to go back to the dog matter 5 times, because she would try to drift to "I have the right to redo my life", "Most people are trying to ruin my new marriage", "If I could I would marry again but your brother is on the way" or "I'm only going to have peace if I give you two your dad's inheritance"

In the end, after going back a thousand times and not engaging with the marriage whatever talk, I could at least extract from her the promise that she will call me this night to say what she's gonna do about the safety of the dog, which of course she took personally because she kept repeating "I would never put our dog in a dangerous situation" and "I'm gonna be responsible", even though the whole reason my dog is in that situation is because of her decision

I'm still planning my own intervention but I'm doing it in secrecy in case she starts to again excuse herself to let this go any longer, but I felt like she would just block me from getting the dog if I insisted too much directly, so I must tread lightly went time comes

I need your advice in terms of what to respond, how to approach the situation, and when to escalate because if she's now painting my brother as a villain, I fear that she might say to him not to tell me what's happening, or just try to convince people not to help him