I (32f)have a girlfriend(31f) and a husband(37m). I need advise.
Let me start by saying my husband call him T and I are swingers have been for 6-7 years and have always enjoyed adding other people to the bedroom for a fun time but it never went beyond a fun time. About 6 months ago I connected with this woman call her B (I'm bi). It was a fun time and then we fell into this thing that felt effortless. It was intense and wonderful and we all three really clicked. Well 6 months later she spend half the week at our place every week and we go to her place 2 weekends a month with the whole family (we have 3 little ones) that are honestly thriving and got this amazing addition to their world. So anyway recently the bedroom stuff has felt less then effortless and puts me in my head. Them loving me isnt hard watching them together in bed makes me sick if hes basically not focused on me, not completely focused but pretty much. Neither of them have an issue seeing me with the other in fact they both love it but seeing them together now for whatever reason is making me want to walk away. everything but the sex is absolutely perfect and the sex is AMAZIMG if im not in my head.. I never had even considered a poly relationship I have always said I play well I don't share well, this just happened and now here we are. I love both of these people they literally do j9t spend time alone together neither of them want to, neither of them want or have any desire to dp anything with eachother without me there but my brain is screaming at me that im going to mess up my marriage or maybe they will even though they have given me zero reason to question. They tell me how seeing me love the other is beautiful and wonderful and they love it all and yet im over here freaking out almost every time we have a sexual encounter that involves all 3 of us together.. maybe im not ment for a poly dynamic idk... at this point I love them both so much and they love me and have care for eachother. Idk what im asking for here I am overwhelmed with emotion. B has told me that without me she wouldnt look at my husband and T has told me he could never look at another woman as more then just my significant other that I just so happen to bring into our bed. Hes never not one single time asked for the 3 of us to get together sexually it was me from the start. I'll answer questions of any kind and take any advise.