I’ve had a porn addiction since I was 6 and I want help
I’ve had a porn addiction for a long time and I’m done. I know I have an addiction but I know it’s not as bad as most but I can’t help but feel disgusted with myself. I got addicted to porn at a very young age after the man my aunt married started showing me porn at a very young age. He was a perv I’m lucky that he didn’t do anything else but him introducing me to something so explicit at such a young age has definitely changed the trajectory of my life. I think the fact that I was introduced to it so young fucked my brain up I think that eventually like any other person I would’ve found it at a later age but I don’t think it would have the grasp it does on me how it has now. I think my addiction is bad but not as bad as other people. There’s periods of times where I go 1-2 weeks without it and I feel fine but then out of nowhere I get the urge again and I start watching it every day for weeks and the thing is that most of the time I don’t even masturbate I just watch it. Every time I do watch it I feel disgusted with myself but I don’t know why I keep doing it. I have a girlfriend and I love her very much and I’m sure she knows but hasn’t said anything because it has never really affected our relationship in any way. Our sex life is great we communicate very well and I never compare her or want her to do things I watch in porn. There’s obviously things we do to spice things up but I’m never going to expect her to do things that are unreasonable I’d never ask to add another person to the bedroom with us because that would be disrespectful and I also would never expect her to do things that she not comfortable with. I’ve never told her about what my uncle did but it’s getting to the point where I want to tell her and I want to get professional help and I know if I tell her she wouldn’t judge me if anything she would encourage me to get help and be upset that I never shared this with her earlier. As of typing this out I’m a week clean I really do feel if I can get to a month or 2 clean I will have overcome the addiction but I just need to have enough self control once those thoughts come into my head. So I’m here for advice if anyone reading this has beat their addiction please let me know what you did I’m tired of letting this be apart of my life.