u/ImpossibleLuckDragon

We've been on three daycare/preschool waitlists for over two years now in our city (with a nanny in the meantime). One said they may have an opening for when our kid is 3.5. Another is unlikely to pan out. And the final one has made a spot for us, but they only have a Mon/Wed/Thurs/Fri for when our kid is 2.5.

My husband and I both work office jobs, him from 9am - 6pm, and me from 7am - 3pm.

If you have been in this boat, what did you do for the one day a week that you couldn't get daycare coverage?

Did you look for another daycare for one day a week, did you find a reliable nanny for one day a week, or what other options have you found?

My daughter would like to get Kit's hair done with her when we go, but she wants me to join her and get my hair done like Kirsten's hair and get my Kirsten's braids fixed up at the same time (since she took them out a couple years ago). Is that something I can do? Everything on the booking platform says Girl and Doll, and I don't want it to be super awkward.

She's going to be dressing like Kit, and wants me to wear a Kirsten dress, so it's going to be a whole thing.

We both work full time (and sometimes more than full time). Our mornings have been stressful for almost a year, since my husband started working from an office 40 minutes away (he's always worked remotely, like I do). I could use some outside advice on this. We have an au pair right now, but she'll be leaving this fall as my youngest starts preschool, so I really want to get a system down before then.

I work remotely, and my meetings start around 7am.

My husband leaves around 8:15am to make it to work by 9am.

Our eldest (10) wakes up around 8am and walks to the bus stop at 8:40am, so there's not too much effort there, just making sure that he wakes up, because sometimes he'll stay in bed if no one gets him up. He'll also walk out without eating if we don't make a point of insisting that he get food.

Our middle (8) wakes up at 6:30am, but is very easily distracted and will start making large scale art projects if left unmanaged, so she needs someone to keep her on task. I normally get her mostly ready before my first meeting.

Our youngest (2) wakes up around 7:30am if left to wake up on her own.

The middle and the youngest leave together for daycare and school dropoff at 8:15am.

Right now, our au pair handles drop off, but my husband will have to take that on once she leaves. They'll need to leave by 7:55am for him to arrive at work close to 9am (although it may still be close). I'll be handling the after school pickups.

The issues I'm running in to right now are that my husband often gets distracted by getting himself ready to get out the door and doesn't help enough with the kids, so I end up doing a lot of the work to get them out the door (our au pair often shows up late, just in time to drive them, but that issue isn't relevant to what we should do after she is gone).

I end up missing calls, being suddenly pulled out of calls, fielding questions from the kids when in my meetings, etc. This morning my husband tried to leave me managing the toddler and 8yo, while I had to drop from one call early and was running late to my next one. I told him that he was going to have to get the toddler to the au pair, and he was upset that I was making him the bad guy. But I have the kids from 4pm - 6pm+ so that he can work full time. He isn't home for that time and doesn't have to help during those hours. I have asked him repeatedly to fully manage the toddler in the morning so that I can focus on work, but it feels like there's always some excuse for why that's too hard. He feels that he has the harder job now that he has to go in to an office and needs the time in the morning to look more presentable.

I guess what I'm asking is, am I expecting too much, to have my husband be able to get three kids ready in the morning while I get mostly uninterrupted work time? Does anyone in the same boat with an overwhelmed husband have any tips that have worked for you?