u/Impossible-Tiger786

She blew up on me on the first of this month, my birthday -_-

She was the one who initiated NC. She told me she would be completely busy until Tuesday in case I wanted to see her and that I would learn to appreciate her because she wouldn't be there to help now. Then she went on about how I'm "just like everyone else!" and how she must be "dumb" for doing things for people that don't appreciate it. She was cry-screaming saying stuff like "of all people I never ever thought my son would be this rude" and how my girlfriend "Changed my personality". After about 30 minutes of yelling things that she was making up on the fly then she told me to let her know if I didn't want to see her so she doesn't waste her time with me.

I don't want to see her.

But I also don't even want to contact her to let her know I don't want to see her.

And now.... it's getting closer to the end of the day and I'm getting more and more anxious because I know if i call and tell the truth about not wanting to see her it will be a shitstorm -_- I'll probably lose "Couch surfing" privileges and be blacklisted by the family... and I'm so tired of it that I'm thinking "F#ck it, maybe the freedom from the BS is worth losing 'Family' and anything that comes with it."

Ugh, well here goes nothin.

I guess I'll try to update....

So. Yikes… where should I start.

I finally realized; well more appropriately I ADMITTED that my own mother is the biggest narcissist I have ever met. For 32 years I was so used to the “genre” of emotional cinema that she (NMother) portrayed that I thought everyone acted like she did. She could win gold medals in mental gymnastics. Nothing is ever her fault, “and if it was my fault it wasn’t that bad” she’s the matriarch of that. She does that thing where she forces “gifts” onto people, but really it’s more like she’s signing people up for terrible awful high interest emotional “credit cards/loans”. Nothing from her ever feels like a gift, any time you can’t help her she pulls out a record of “gifts” and “favors” ( that you tried to reject) she’s done for you and starts shouting at the top of her lungs and crying about how much she does and how she’s “idiotic” for helping you and that she should know better by now that “everyone is the same”. She makes herself the victim in anything to the point where she could purposely touch a lit candle and get hurt but it would be the fires fault for being hot. Then it comes to relationships, not even just mine either (I’m like what the…. Heck). She talks trash about my wife, but ALSO my uncle’s wife, and my other uncles wife, and my aunt and her husband (until she died ._. ) and my cousin and her husband, and my other cousin and her husband, and my other cousin and his wife, and also my other cou.. well you get it haha. My wife doesn’t need to put up with this, this is affecting more than just me. And even though I love my mother, I’m tired. I am so so tired. I’m not “livid” I’m not “angry” im just disappointed and tired. SHE actually went NC with ME on the day of my 32nd birthday, she sent me a message later saying “now you’re going to learn to appreciate me!”. She never ever apologizes. I don’t think I should now either. It hurts me to say it but, she really needs a taste of what she does to people she needs a taste of her own poison. To all of you who are going through something similar, let’s stay strong for each other. You deserve happiness and peace. We all deserve happiness and peace, and LOVE. Remember, it seriously seriously is not your fault. I don’t know what they will throw at us (all of us) next but remember this: if the narcissists didn’t know how rain worked they’d likely blame us for it lol 😂. Good luck everyone. 🥹🤘💯✌️👍