u/Impossible-Resort882

I (26 F) have been with my boyfriend (28 M) for 7 years now. We live together in my home. He's a software engineer and is always busy working. We don't have a lot of friends. I am not a very people person, so the only friend I have is my boyfriend. And he has very few. One of his closest friends is his college roommate. The roommate knows about us, and has often told my boyfriend how good our relationship seems to be. During our 4th year together I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me. He was in a whole seperate relationship with another girl. I don't know how or when he did all that because as I said, he has immense work pressure, which I know for a fact is true and we live together. I work from home so I'm always at home. But that did happen, he had been taking her out on dates and having sex with her, going to meet with her parents and all that. After I found out, I felt like I was dying. My whole world came crashing. He's not only my boyfriend, he's my best friend and my only friend. I didn't know if I could ever recover from that situation. I confronted him and eventually her. Because she was the one who seduced him. And the one who introduced the girl to my boyfriend was his former college roommate. He introduced her knowing well that she had a crush on my boyfriend. He had known about the whole relationship they had all along. After I got to know about the whole fiasco my boyfriend apologized profusely. Even though it was killing me every moment I chose to stay. I had invested too much in those 4 years emotionally and financially. And also I just couldn't let go. I just couldn't see myself alone without him, or with someone else. Things got better eventually. We started from scratch again. Things are good now even though I think about the cheating every day but it's not on my mind every second. So things are good now. A few months back I found out that he is still in contact with his friend and they are in very good terms. Since then I have asked him a number of times to cut contact with him and that I hate the guy. But he just wouldn't listen to me. He keeps saying that the roommate is his closest friend and he's not really a bad person. I don't know how to make him understand that I still live through everything everyday, I remember every text I read, every photo I saw, every emotion I felt. Every time he talks to the guy, or talks to me about him, all I can think about is how he ruined my life.