Stream of Consciousness Writing - What is my type?
The previous one I made is written while I'm a bit emotionally charged, so I hope that this one is at least less skewed.
Here is a one page writing of my stream of consciousness, try and see what type this may sound like. I read from Palmer (and to an extension u/RafflesiaArnoldii) that writing a few paragraphs of my stream of consciousness ramble is a good way to find my type. But I'm not really sure on how to identify symptoms or parts in my writing that jumps out that looks like an identifiable trait of a certain type, so I decided to post this here too to see what others think and see what they see and observe here.
Anyways, here it is below:
insert a somewhat long pause of my head not thinking of stuff
There is this somewhat forced quality when it comes to writing these things, I am calm and collected (not!), definitely not calm and collected (that's an impulsive random thought), my hand is already hurting from writing this down, I didn't even make a first paragraph yet. It's honestly so annoying that this body has limitations, and my mind making its own restrictions and limits even though some of them are quite unnecessary; it's really odd and again, annoying, idk why I didn't write this down on my phone, but I guess I just thought that this is more natural? Then again, what difference does it make when I write this digitally.
Has my handwriting gone off for a bit? Won't be too surprising though since it's been a while since I've written something manually or by hand. Gotta admit though it kinda sucks hahaha lol... scrolled for a but to rest my hand, still fucking annoyed that it quickly becomes exhausting and slightly aching when I write for too long. Idk why but I just can't seem to write anything within these past few months, and yeah I know I'm writing now but I'm talking about stories and poems, these things happened before but I feel like this one is going loger than it was before. Is it lack of inspiration? Stuck imagination? Forced demotivation? Don't really know, I just can't seem to bring myself on creating again.
It doesn't even feel too sucky it's just a very "bleh" type of feeling that makes it feel like I'm in some sludge or a tar pit, it's just annoying more than awful, listless and boring, just a big state of "ugh" and "bleugh".
Took a break and ate dinner. It's quite okay to be honest, although for some reason the spam felt less tastier than before, more salty maybe? Eh, I don't know but it just feels wrong to eat, even though it doesn't taste that bad. For fuck's sake my arm already aches again wtf??? I just started writing and it's already getting carpal tunnel (is that even the right term to label that?), ugh, words can be hard sometimes, with how they can be deceiving when it comes to their assigned meaning, how it changes depending on the context, and even how it could be interpreted, etc. etc. OH MY GOD I HATE MY FUCKING HAND! AGGGHHHHH!!!!!
Anyways I'm just watching Monogatari after eating some snacks, their dialogues and writings are pretty much not too dissimilar in what's going on inside my head. Monologues upon monologues (finally I get to say that phrase!), I'm pretty much almost narrating my experiences and my day to day life with these monologues to myself. About 80% maybe? Idk how percentages precisely work not gonna lie, but yeah most of my brain mechanisms consist of monologues, expositions, consistent yet random shit that could be written into paragraphs. I may be exaggerating perhaps, but that's what I see to myself.
That toothbrush scene is still fucking funny. In all of anime scenes where it's a litmus test to ween out the ones who can't handle the insanity of Monogatari. Gosh I hope the neighbors are not concerned with how loud I fucking cackle, I wonder how iconic is that toothbrushing scene in anime history in general? It's so fucking weird and freaky that it's just fucking hilarious when watching that again.