u/Important-Pie-1141

A term to explain people who don't have children or less children than they should. I think we should rename this subreddit "the under babied."

I was doing so well. Those pain free 17 days felt like heaven and like the world was my oyster. I was happy again. I was even feeling confident enough to plan a trip with my husband. I thought I had a grip on stuff. Then today, right on time, my Monday migraine slaps me in the face back to reality that this is still my life and I can't outsmart it. It's amazing how much pain can't dampen your entire outlook on life so drastically. Like I know many posters on here are chronic and deal with this daily but I usually only have one a week. But it is so reliable on Mondays really makes me want to cry. But those 17 days were magic.

Sorry for all the dramatics I just had to type all that out to my people so I didn't sound like a sad sack to my husband for the 100 billionth time.

I was reheating the show over and over of course. Usually on the weekends I would give myself one episode to really dive into. I went into the app for my weekly episode and I lost access!! (It was shared with me by someone else so I totally understand and I'm grateful for the time I had). But I'm REALLY missing the good ol days where you could buy stuff on DVD and have it forever. This is the first show I've wished that for in a decade!! 😅😭

I'm a personal trainer who lifts heavy as my main source of exercise. Over the last few years it has been a major trigger for my migraines and it was legitimately making me depressed that I couldn't do anything I could do before. It started with overhead pressing motions, then deadlifts, then basically all heavy loads caused it to flare. And it wasn't during the sessions, it would be 24ish hours after my lifting session... basically when muscle soreness would set in. But here's the deal, I never did enough work to actually be sore. I would just get a major migraine and be super sad. I work in a physical therapy clinic and did all the exercises/stretches/mobility they suggested without any help.

I went to a continuing education course that taught how to adapt the major lifts (bench, military press, squat, and deadlift) to people who have pain. I volunteered to be the guinea pig for the military press because after years I was determined to figure out why I can't lift. Turns out, my traps fired before any other muscle causing me to not use other muscles to help do the movement obviously causing a boat load of tension. The cue was to drop my shoulders down and press my elbows forward. I did that cue with all the other lifts at maximum load (mostly the shoulder blades down not back). No migraines.

That was 3 weeks ago and I haven't had a migraine since. Anytime I feel one creeping in at any time of the day, I take a deep breath, lightly shrug my shoulders, and breathe out as I push my shoulders down like a little cartoon doing an over dramatic sigh. He also suggested I shrug lightly and slowly turn my head side to side 3 times. Another thing he suggested if you are working traps, only do very low reps because pretty much anyone who high reps traps would get a tension headache/migraine.

It very much works for me. I've been so happy the last 3 weeks. I wanted to make sure it wasn't a fluke before I posted. But I felt one creeping in before my workout today, and at this point it's almost gone. I've also stopped a few during the work day which has been a huge relief!

Hahaha here is my recent shower thought. My cats solidified my child free decision. Not because they are a lot of work or whatever.

But I grew up not having baby dolls but toy cats I cared for and carried around everywhere. I couldn't ever have a real cat growing up because my dad is allergic to them but it's all I ever wanted. So when I finally moved out, I immediately got my own cat. And it has lived up to everything I had hoped having a cat would be like. I have 3 now and it's even better. I didn't hesitate when a friend found a kitten needing a home and I took her in. Nursed her back to health and I love watching her play. I don't find any of their cat antics annoying and I never get sick of them and my first cat is 13 this year. I'm sad to leave them every day and I'm so excited to come home to them at the end of the day. I love my friends cats and all other cats that exist in the world.

All that crazy cat lady ranting is to say, I can't confidently say I'd feel any of those emotions on a consistent enough basis with kids. And I know that there are plenty of people who feel all those things towards children. Insert kids instead of cats and that's some of the things my friends say to me about kids.

I feel like if I were to have a kid it would have to match some sort of emotion I share with cats. And it doesn't even come close.

I read a lot of Reddit posts outside of this one where people ask about kids and regrets and all that. And usually I see at least one person saying this phrase.

As child free people we get told all the time "you'll never know what true love feels like." And of course I always scoff at that.

But the phrase in the title? If I never experience that dissonance I guess I will call myself lucky. I cannot comprehend that thought.

I've lost track of space and time on how many times I've seen the show and something just occurred to me:

2 small things in episode 4 that I just realized. We all know this is THE episode of Shane "settling" to be with Rose; it's not really what he wants. I noticed they set it up well. First, he's at Ilya's house with the infamous tuna melt. Ilya got Shane ginger ale and kept asking him how it was. Shane freaks out and leaves which ends getting what he wants for the episode. Literall, the next two scenes he's at the restaurant where he asks for ginger ale and they don't have it. Then he's at the restaurant and the bartender also doesn't give ginger ale to him. He settles for sparkling water then beer!! Subtle "this is not enough" moments.