Hi everyone,
About 1 month and a half ago my girlfriend started speaking to this guy she knows from a sport she plays. She had mentioned him but only incredibly briefly and I knew they were texting but something about it felt a little weird.
She had never really been proper friends with a guy before so this was new to me, however I found it quite easy due to me having quite a lot of girl friends.
Anyway, she called me about 2 weeks ago saying she wants to get something off of her chest, and that was she had continued consistently texting this guy over the last month and felt like she had to share. I said something along the lines of, ok that’s a little weird that you feel like you have to share that with me because I have never expressed needing to be reassured. Especially when I know she is in contact with her ex quite often, something that didn’t bother me.
This guy has a girlfriend of 5 years and me and my girlfriend have only been together 10months. Anyway, recently she went on a walk late at night and didn’t answer my calls, our friends calls or texts and was basically just worrying me. She gets back and I found out she bumped into this guy on her walk with another friend of theirs. I have difficulty believing it but I eventually do and communicate to her that my main issue was you not answering anyone when you’re appearing to be alone in a park by yourself in the dark.
She then yesterday asks if she can go on a walk with him and would that be weird. I said no, just don’t do anything stupid. I thought this as nothing but an innocent walk.
Now onto the issue, I found texts on her phone of this guy and her flirting quite obviously. Some texts he would allude to wanting her - even describing wanting someone her height and doing her degree - to which she would reply ‘good boy, you want meeeee’. There were so many other texts like a scenario of him wanting her outside his window at night and letting her in eventually.
I immediately confronted her on this, and she basically just denied it saying because she means nothing by it, she didn’t think it was an issue. I said that’s such stupid reasoning and to not treat me like I’m stupid. She then apologised and revealed she knew it was flirting all along but it was ‘harmless flirting’.
All these things were found in maybe 5 scrolls which is just a small percentage of how much they have texted.
This has upset me considering how she has always been so vocal in being upset at me having female friends, despite me never crossing a line and having clear and constant communication around these things. Now all of a sudden, she gets one male friend and she’s flirting with him and then I come to find out she’s been talking similar to her ex over the past year.
What next?