I’m dealing with really intense anxiety at work ( i have been here sinc 6 months & had a rollercoaster of emotions from extreme high to extreme low and breakdowns at work. ) and I don’t know how to handle it anymore.
I constantly feel like people are talking about me behind my back or plotting against me, especially when I see coworkers in groups or acting differently around me. Even if nothing is directly said, my brain immediately assumes it’s about me. It’s exhausting.
There’s also some history that makes this worse , one coworker (let’s call her Karen- she has been the favroutie employee 2 levels above me , Iam onthe lowest one the old lead and new lead both are very found of her because of personal connects and her being the gossip source to them ) has stirred things in the past and has influence over others in the office. Recently things have been calmer 1. because i tried a lot of times to fix shit with her 2 . she and the lead are on leave, but I’m already anxious about what will happen when they’re back.
Another coworker (Billy), who used to be a good friend, has lately started acting a bit strange. He makes jokes about me ,calling me "thief " ( because his mints went msising in joke but Ifelt bad, "optic seeker" ( because Ionce went to super boss since Ifelt karen was talking all the credits, "miser" ( because Idont ask anyone to pay for me or pay for anyone) I didn’t like it. It feels like those jokes could shape how others see me, even if he thinks it’s harmless.( not sure if he is trying to imply anything indirectly)
I’ve also noticed I’m scared to even take leaves from work because I feel like if I’m not there, things will go wrong behind my back or people will create issues about me. ( Itook only 2 leaves since Ihave joined in 6 months while everyone takes tons of them.)
The confusing part is:
- I know logically that not everything is about me
- But emotionally, it feels very real and scary
- I keep connecting things (people talking, jokes, interactions) into a bigger story that people are against me
It’s like I can’t trust my own thoughts anymore.
I don’t want to be paranoid or overreact, but I also don’t want to ignore real workplace dynamics if something actually is happening.
Has anyone dealt with this kind of anxiety in a work environment?
How do you tell the difference between intuition and overthinking?
And how do you stop your brain from spiraling every time you feel left out or judged?
Would really appreciate any advice or similar experiences.