UCCJEA Nightmare
My partner and I have resided in Oregon for six years. He divorced in 2020 and moved from California to Oregon with his eldest son (who was in elementary school at the time) and left the twins (who were not yet old enough for school) in California with their mom. Their custody order out of Cali was every other week 50/50 legal and physical custody. He moved to Oregon to find better work and housing. Since he worked all week he drove 4-hrs each way every weekend to see the twins. That happened for almost two years.
Then, we got engaged and had a great time with all 3 of his boys all summer. At the end of summer, one of the twins expressed sadness and frustration about going back to his mom’s. The twins were supposed to start 2nd grade that year, but he wasn’t reading or even able to write his name properly. His mom wasn’t having him wear his glasses (which is a huge concern for his optometrist) and his mom doesn’t really believe in healthcare or education.
We began a custody battle with her in 2023 because she has really neglected them medically and educationally and mistreats them often. She has retaliated by making up ridiculous lies and starting a lot of false founded drama. She has also moved to Maine and now Hawaii. She has avoided talking to a judge and we have not been able to get this in front of a judge other than repeated mediation in Cali, during which she would lie and say weird things including how she had to mysteriously move to Maine all of a sudden.
Last summer, after two years of alternating mediation and hearings to discuss mediation, Cali threw it out since she had lived in Maine for 8 months. As soon as they did that she moved to Hawaii without telling us. We found out when their previous school in Maine called inquiring about why they hadn’t started school. Now we’ve been waiting for Oregon to accept jurisdiction, but she gives us a fake address and avoids notifying their dad when she bounces to a new dude’s house. So it took forever to get her found and served. So Oregon only accepted the eldest and she gave up that fight, but now we’ve have to start all over in Hawaii to see or talk to the twins if Oregon doesn’t accept the contested UCCJEA jurisdiction. However, based on her pattern and manipulative behavior, she will likely move again as soon as that court in Maui gets involved.
What else can we do? We’re a low income family who had to represent ourselves here after paying so much in California and we haven’t even been able to tell a judge any of the outrageous details yet. We’ve tried calling child protective services in Maine and Hawaii. We’ve called the local police who seem confused with old paperwork she showed them when they did locate her this past fall. We’ve talked to their teachers to ensure they’re at least going to school somewhat regularly, but the legal process is taking years. We were supposed to have them during Christmas, spring break and this summer per the last California order, but she has repeatedly said in writing that she doesn’t agree to that. She is worried if the twins talk to us or hang out with us too much they’ll want to live with us too and she won’t allow that she says. She is in direct violation of the custody order and refuses to follow it and doesn’t live in any one place for very long and refuses to share an address.
What are our options?
Please help!