My pregnancy was all versions of hard. It was an ivf pregnancy, lots of medications, injections, so many prayers and hope to conceive.
Me and my husband had a moderately good intimate life prior to starting ivf. We would always try to spend time with each other, go on dates.
Once I got pregnant, I had intense food aversions that I would have nausea eating anything and everything for months. Second trimester was moderately better but until the third trimester my body was going through a lot physically and nausea wouldn't get better that I couldn't feel at ease. My kids came 8 weeks early, this meant we had to live in the hospital with them in nicu until they got discharged. I couldn't get postpartum rest or recovery as I had to be constantly overseeing the kids.
Cut to chase my kids are 1.5 yrs old now. My husband waited before he could initiate any of intimacy cause he knew pregnancy, birth and postpartum was all hard on me. We finally tried doing it once and it was so painful. Almost like I was dreading ever doing it again.
Truth is, my body is feeling different, my c section scar still has some pain in my pelvic area even if it's all healed, I'm not able to feel sexy and hence initiating intimacy is really not in my books. Also since sex was very painful that one time as I couldn't feel wet, we did not use lube, I feel stressed about it as a whole. My husband misses old us, our little moments together. And now my days go by so busy with my twins, when I get a break all I want to do is rest. As my sleep is disrupted, I have to do most of the work in the house and cook for the kids. He has a demanding job and I have taken a pause from work. He does help me where he can, but feels letdown when I don't initiate any form of physical touch with him.
I have been to the doctors, tried to tell them I dunno why this is painful or why I feel like this. But no one understands how this feels to me and addressed it in a way they can help me. They just say my body looks okay and my c section scar is fully recovered. One of the clinics lookes at me like I'm crazy when i said I had sex only one time in the last one year. I'm like hello, I have young kids, I dunno what you expect out of a new mom.
I feel very lonely in this journey. How can I move forward from this? I want to help my relationship. I want us to have our intimate moments. Do all mom's go through problems with libido and pain during sex? Should I go to some specialist? I'm in my 30s and I feel miserable.